COLUMBUS _ "I have to go, but I want to do it myself," Buddy announced from the recliner.
"OK," I said.
He lowered the footrest, reached to the wall and grasped the aluminum crutches.
"I'll have to do it tomorrow, anyway," he said.
"True," I said.
"You'll be fine; you're getting pretty good with those things," his big sister told him.
"Better go now; you've got visitors," Hon said from the kitchen where she was making subs this snowy, Sunday afternoon.
"Who?" said Buddy.
"Alice and Chet," she said.
"There's a guy who knows when it's time to eat," I said as the couple came in the back door.
"I've come to see the patient and to let you take a push poll," Uncle Chet announced, putting down a six-pack and stomping snow off his rubber boots. "I'm going to poll 100 people and put the results on my blog."
"Want a sandwich?" Hon asked.
"We've already eaten," Alice said.
"I'd love one, no mayo," Uncle Chet said as he made his way over to Buddy.
"I hear you've been studying the effects of gravity," he said as he leaned over to the fourth-grader, who was reading "The Big Book of Boy Stuff."
"What? Oh, yeah."
"How far did you fall?"
"About six feet," Buddy said. "I broke three metatarsal bones."
"Does it hurt?"
"Not much," the boy said. Lifting his foot gingerly, he got up on his crutches. "I'm getting a cast Wednesday," he added, then excused himself and swung out of the room.
"He's pretty good on those things," Uncle Chet observed.
"He's going to school tomorrow," I said as I glanced out the window where the snow was flying. "Weather permitting, that is. So what's this poll about?"
"Tucson. Here's the first question," he said. "Does Sarah Palin bear any responsibility for the shootings in Tucson?"
"Don't we all, in a larger sense?"
"That's not the question."
"Try the next one."
"Do the cross hairs on Sarah Palin's map of targeted Democrats make you think of guns?"
"After yesterday? Yes."
"Do you consider this phrase -- `Commonsense Conservatives & lovers of America: Don't Retreat. Reload' -- to be a reference to guns?"
"Yes."
"Do you consider the Tucson murders a terrorist attack?"
"I have no idea what was in that guy's head," I said. "What's all this going to prove?"
"Depends what people say," Uncle Chet said. "I'm taking a little dip into polling to see what I can find out."
"I'm surprised you aren't still celebrating that lame-duck Congress," I said. "Everything Obama and the Democrats did: a nuclear arms treaty with Russia, gays in the military, medical care for 9/11 heroes, unemployment for the needy -- all for extending the Bush-Cheney tax cuts."
"It's really Republicans who deserve the credit," Uncle Chet said. "The Democrats had been trying to accomplish all that for months, but the Grand Old Plutocracy blocked everything until it got tax cuts for millionaires and billionaires. Then, with the base appeased -- a tax code that guarantees the rich will get richer -- they went along with everything else."
"Because all they want is the money?" I asked.
"The money and a Supreme Court that equates money with freedom of speech, to be spent liberally making sure they continue to get the money."
Cooperstown Bureau Reporter Tom Grace is traveling with his Uncle Chet, who he says is imaginary. Grace's column appears every other week. For more of his columns, visit www.thedailystar.com/tomgrace.
Tom Grace
Poll will show what people are thinking
- Tom Grace
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The future of news: video on the Internet
COLUMBUS _ "Well, I'm going to do it, retire tomorrow," I told Uncle Chet last Thursday, then pulled on the thick braided wire that ran up and down the chimney.
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Uncle Chet advises little miscreant
COLUMBUS _ The little miscreant is off to college this month, and we had a dinner in her honor at Uncle Chet and Aunt Alice's log cabin Sunday.
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Here's to everyone paying their fair share
COLUMBUS _ Buddy and I were working on the woodpile at Uncle Chet's house, stacking about 10 face cord of pungent ash, maple and cherry. The sun was beating down, and the pine needles crackled underfoot. Everything around us was tinder dry, that is, except the wood we were moving.
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Easy fixes for education, drilling debate
COLUMBUS _ "I know how to resolve this fracking controversy," Uncle Chet said, then sipped his second glass of red wine.
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Handicapping the 2012 race in a dust cloud
COLUMBUS _ The little miscreant was graduating from high school, going to college. We were having a party here in just four days, but we were power-sanding in the kitchen, making a dust cloud that filled the room, coating everything as it sank to the floor.
- Tuesday, June 14, 2011
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Spackle can only do so much to fix problems
COLUMBUS _ "This ceiling reminds me of my face," Uncle Chet said, standing on the eight-foot stepladder, cutting in with a sash brush.
- Tuesday, May 31, 2011
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The rich are getting richer, more powerful
COLUMBUS _ "You know, there's only one thing wrong with the world," Uncle Chet paused, then dropped a log onto the stack.
- Tuesday, May 17, 2011
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Facing down the dreaded colonoscopy
Colonoscopy. Cousin Bruce talked me into it. He's a decade younger and if he was doing it, then coming from the same gene pool, so should I, I reasoned in February and made an appointment.
- Tuesday, May 3, 2011
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Wounds left by Osama still healing
COLUMBUS _ We were lying down, reading, ready for lights out when the phone rang late Sunday night. I looked at the caller I.D. before answering, "You're too old to be up at this hour."
- Tuesday, April 19, 2011
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The rich are thriving in country's class warfare
We sat in the basement cafeteria Friday night, eating off sectioned plastic trays, as students have done for generations.
- Tuesday, April 5, 2011
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There's still one job we haven't shipped overseas
"Where are the French?" Uncle Chet asked from across the table where we were having coffee.
- Tuesday, March 22, 2011
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Obama strikes oil with assault on Libya
We were on our way to the dump Saturday, three across the bench seat, when we heard the news.
- Tuesday, March 8, 2011
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Caught between tanking dollar, rising oil prices
COLUMBUS _ "Got to get some wood in; it's gonna snow," I said as I rose from the couch Saturday afternoon.
- Tuesday, February 22, 2011
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Conversation on the trail to rock stardom
SCRANTON, PA. _ It was a cool, sunny morning in late February, and we were tooling down Interstate 81 in the silver pickup.
- Tuesday, February 8, 2011
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Cheney's chum about to get his walking papers
The snow piles were becoming tall white walls and the paths between them were narrowing as we cleared the driveway again Sunday morning.
- Tuesday, January 25, 2011
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Taxing wealthy would give us rich future
COLUMBUS _ "The state of the union is deplorable, and I hope he says so, because we ought to do something about it," Uncle Chet said, then lowered an armful of logs into the wood box.
- Tuesday, January 11, 2011
- Tuesday, December 28, 2010
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Target within sight; summit within reach
It was snowing and windy, and the road was icy, running between desolate, snow-covered fields in the town of Plainfield. We were climbing a long hill, up in God's country, looking for a microwave tower.
- Tuesday, December 14, 2010
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Tax deal will help rich get richer
"Dear Mr. President: "Your tax deal with the Republicans is an abomination.
- Tuesday, November 30, 2010
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GOP's denial is all about bottom line
COLUMBUS _ The little chair was a blessing to the back, but the pipe at the front of the canvas seat pressed under my knees, and my legs were numbing.
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The future of news: video on the Internet



