COLUMBUS _ The little chair was a blessing to the back, but the pipe at the front of the canvas seat pressed under my knees, and my legs were numbing.
I didn't dare move. The woods were quiet, the only sound the distant hum of a diesel truck barreling down Route 8 on a cold sunny November morning.
The breeze wasn't helping, flickering uphill and down, first in the face, then down the neck, carrying my scent in two directions.
Warning: hunter!
I didn't dare move.
I was tucked in between soft maples, on a little plateau midway up the hill. I was scouting the swamp below, a tangle of stunted hemlocks and tall marshy grasses, the muddy green ooze and rough reeds where Bullwinkle sleeps. Time to wake up, big fella. Time to go for a walk along the old log road. ...
Would I see him today? Would he be so nice as to come within 50 yards, then pause, hold that, as I lowered the barrel?
Maybe not, but hunting season's the only time I'm in the woods, seeing who else and what else lives there. I breathed in deeply. I felt my heart slow, felt every beat, sitting expectantly on that uncomfortable chair, halfway up the hill.
I could just move my legs, of course, but that would rustle leaves, spook anything nearby and I thought I smelled a deer.
I didn't move.
I scanned downhill, monitoring tunnels between trees, searching for a sign of movement. I listened intently, but heard nothing as the smell faded away until I questioned whether I'd smelled anything.
At last, I rested my shotgun in the crotch of a tree, and using my hands, hoisted my legs to the sides of the chair. Leaves crackled, a little stick snapped, then behind me I heard a snort. I twisted around, saw the horns, the buck wheeling like a cop in hot pursuit, then lunge into the nearby brush.
An epithet escaped my lips and I saw nothing else that trip.
"So, that's where I'm going when we go back out," I told Uncle Chet a couple of hours later as we had coffee and toast at the house. "I think he's coming back."
"We'll see," he said. "I think that chair's a bust. You'd better go back to the stool."
"I am."
"At least it's not too cold out there," he yawned, leaning back in his chair in the warm kitchen.
"Not at all," I said. "Even my feet weren't cold."
"Consequence of global warming," he said. "We're seeing it in our lifetimes. It's still good around here, but it's changing. We're more like what mid-Atlantic was when I was a kid."
"They don't make winters like they used to," I said.
"And the summers are hotter, but the Republicans don't believe it."
"They don't know the difference between weather and climate," I said.
"They think all scientists are Democrats," Uncle Chet said. "And most probably are, because who's going to join a party that rejects science and thinks God made a flat world in seven days?"
"They don't all think that," I said.
"No, but according to the Pew Center, 79 percent of Democrats think the world is warming and 53 percent believe it's because of human activity."
"Sounds right."
"But only 38 percent of Republicans think it's getting hotter," he said, "and only 16 percent say it's because of human activity."
"That's because they can afford air conditioning," I said.
"The way FOX-GOP looks at it, global warming is a moral, not a scientific, question," he said. "Because global warming will require government regulations to curtail emissions and mandate efficiency, it may compromise short-term corporate profit, and anything that lowers profit is immoral and must be denied as long as practically possible."
"You betcha," I said. "Amen."
Cooperstown bureau Reporter Tom Grace is traveling with his Uncle Chet, who he says is imaginary. Grace's column appears every other week. For more of his columns, visit www.thedailystar.com/tomgrace
Tom Grace
GOP's denial is all about bottom line
- Tom Grace
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The future of news: video on the Internet
COLUMBUS _ "Well, I'm going to do it, retire tomorrow," I told Uncle Chet last Thursday, then pulled on the thick braided wire that ran up and down the chimney.
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Uncle Chet advises little miscreant
COLUMBUS _ The little miscreant is off to college this month, and we had a dinner in her honor at Uncle Chet and Aunt Alice's log cabin Sunday.
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Here's to everyone paying their fair share
COLUMBUS _ Buddy and I were working on the woodpile at Uncle Chet's house, stacking about 10 face cord of pungent ash, maple and cherry. The sun was beating down, and the pine needles crackled underfoot. Everything around us was tinder dry, that is, except the wood we were moving.
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Easy fixes for education, drilling debate
COLUMBUS _ "I know how to resolve this fracking controversy," Uncle Chet said, then sipped his second glass of red wine.
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Handicapping the 2012 race in a dust cloud
COLUMBUS _ The little miscreant was graduating from high school, going to college. We were having a party here in just four days, but we were power-sanding in the kitchen, making a dust cloud that filled the room, coating everything as it sank to the floor.
- Tuesday, June 14, 2011
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Spackle can only do so much to fix problems
COLUMBUS _ "This ceiling reminds me of my face," Uncle Chet said, standing on the eight-foot stepladder, cutting in with a sash brush.
- Tuesday, May 31, 2011
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The rich are getting richer, more powerful
COLUMBUS _ "You know, there's only one thing wrong with the world," Uncle Chet paused, then dropped a log onto the stack.
- Tuesday, May 17, 2011
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Facing down the dreaded colonoscopy
Colonoscopy. Cousin Bruce talked me into it. He's a decade younger and if he was doing it, then coming from the same gene pool, so should I, I reasoned in February and made an appointment.
- Tuesday, May 3, 2011
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Wounds left by Osama still healing
COLUMBUS _ We were lying down, reading, ready for lights out when the phone rang late Sunday night. I looked at the caller I.D. before answering, "You're too old to be up at this hour."
- Tuesday, April 19, 2011
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The rich are thriving in country's class warfare
We sat in the basement cafeteria Friday night, eating off sectioned plastic trays, as students have done for generations.
- Tuesday, April 5, 2011
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There's still one job we haven't shipped overseas
"Where are the French?" Uncle Chet asked from across the table where we were having coffee.
- Tuesday, March 22, 2011
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Obama strikes oil with assault on Libya
We were on our way to the dump Saturday, three across the bench seat, when we heard the news.
- Tuesday, March 8, 2011
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Caught between tanking dollar, rising oil prices
COLUMBUS _ "Got to get some wood in; it's gonna snow," I said as I rose from the couch Saturday afternoon.
- Tuesday, February 22, 2011
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Conversation on the trail to rock stardom
SCRANTON, PA. _ It was a cool, sunny morning in late February, and we were tooling down Interstate 81 in the silver pickup.
- Tuesday, February 8, 2011
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Cheney's chum about to get his walking papers
The snow piles were becoming tall white walls and the paths between them were narrowing as we cleared the driveway again Sunday morning.
- Tuesday, January 25, 2011
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Taxing wealthy would give us rich future
COLUMBUS _ "The state of the union is deplorable, and I hope he says so, because we ought to do something about it," Uncle Chet said, then lowered an armful of logs into the wood box.
- Tuesday, January 11, 2011
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Poll will show what people are thinking
COLUMBUS _ "I have to go, but I want to do it myself," Buddy announced from the recliner.
- Tuesday, December 28, 2010
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Target within sight; summit within reach
It was snowing and windy, and the road was icy, running between desolate, snow-covered fields in the town of Plainfield. We were climbing a long hill, up in God's country, looking for a microwave tower.
- Tuesday, December 14, 2010
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Tax deal will help rich get richer
"Dear Mr. President: "Your tax deal with the Republicans is an abomination.
- Tuesday, November 30, 2010
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The future of news: video on the Internet



