COLUMBUS _ The dogs stirred
at the sound of a truck pulling
down the driveway, and when
Uncle Chet came in the back door,
Della jumped up to greet him.
``Down!’’ I commanded.
``I’ll take care of her.’’ He knelt
by the black Lab pup, encouraged
her to sit and stroked her thick coat.
He looked into her dark brown
eyes. ``Are you housebroken yet?’’
``Jury’s out on that,’’ I said. ``She
hasn’t made a mistake in while,
anyway.’’
``Good for you,’’ he said to the
dog, then straightened up with a
groan. ``I brought the wood splitter.’’
``OK. Want coffee
first?’’
``Sure,’’ he
said as Hon came
downstairs.
``What’s this I
hear about coffee?’’
``I made a pot,’’
I said.
``I’ll take a
cup,’’ she said.
``Any luck with
the phone?’’ I
asked.
``No. The only
way to get the
photos off it is to
e-mail them, and
that costs 75 cents
apiece.’’
``Crooked soand-
sos,’’ I said. ``They stick a digital
camera on the cell phone, then
they won’t let you upload photos to
your computer.’’
``And we took all our beach photos
with the cell phone,’’ she said.
``Let’s get a different phone,’’ I
said.
``But what about these photos?’’
She showed me one of Buddy and
me in a little boat, rowing out in
Long Island Sound.
``We’ve got to have that one,’’ I
said.
``Let me see that,’’ said Uncle
Chet as we sat down for coffee. He
scrolled through the photos, found
several of us, him and Alice and the
kids _ the little miscreant verging
on 16 and her 8-year-old brother.
``You mean you can’t share these
photos without paying, even though
you bought the phone?’’ he said.
``I’ll try Google next,’’ she said.
``There are probably a million
people with this problem. There
must be some way around it.’’
Just then, a girl’s voice at the top
of the stairs said, ``Ooohh, gross!
Dad, the dog’s sick.’’
``Clean it up,’’ I said.
``No way.’’ She shrank at the
thought.
``Looks like she’s doing a pretty
good job herself,’’ said Uncle Chet.
``That’s disgusting!’’ the girl said.
``Dogs do that; that’s how they
feed their young in the wild,’’ said
Hon, going for a mop.
``This isn’t the wild,’’ said her
daughter.
``Sometimes I wonder,’’ I said.
``You’re lucky this is happening
now,’’ said Uncle Chet. ``Under
Obama’s health plan, if that dog
pukes next year, you’ll have to
euthanize it.’’
``That’s not true,’’ his niece
scolded.
``I heard it at a tea party,’’ he
said. ``And that anyone over 80 with
a medical problem is going to be
put down, too.’’
``As long as it’s not anyone over
60.’’ I sipped coffee.
``You’re next,’’ he said. ``Your
children are going to turn on you
if they keep listening to the black
president.’’
``Now that, I have heard, but not
the black part,’’ I said.
``Do you think they hate him
because he’s black, or because he’s
standing up to the rich?’’ asked
Hon.
``Both. The insurance tycoons
and the drug tycoons are protecting
their turf, and there’s plenty of
racist stuff on the Internet,’’ said
Uncle Chet. ``Isn’t that what this
birther movement is all about?
Aren’t they really saying, `he ain’t
like you and me?’”
``Seems it,’’ I said.
``You have to remember how the
old Confederacy, heart of the beast,
became Republican,’’ said Uncle
Chet. ``After the Democrats finally
took up the civil-rights banner, in
the ’60s, the racists had to switch
parties. Before that, they called it
the `Solid South’ because it was so
reliable for Democrats, but then it
flip-flopped.’’
``That was an angry time.’’ I rose
to take out the dog, although she
seemed fine now.
``It was,’’ said Uncle Chet, and
brought his coffee to the door. ``Reminds
me a lot of now.’’
___
Cooperstown News Bureau Reporter
Tom Grace is traveling with
his Uncle Chet, who he says is imaginary.
Grace’s column appears every
other week.
Tom Grace
Travels with Uncle Chet: Time of anger has returned
- Tom Grace
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The future of news: video on the Internet
COLUMBUS _ "Well, I'm going to do it, retire tomorrow," I told Uncle Chet last Thursday, then pulled on the thick braided wire that ran up and down the chimney.
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Uncle Chet advises little miscreant
COLUMBUS _ The little miscreant is off to college this month, and we had a dinner in her honor at Uncle Chet and Aunt Alice's log cabin Sunday.
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Here's to everyone paying their fair share
COLUMBUS _ Buddy and I were working on the woodpile at Uncle Chet's house, stacking about 10 face cord of pungent ash, maple and cherry. The sun was beating down, and the pine needles crackled underfoot. Everything around us was tinder dry, that is, except the wood we were moving.
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Easy fixes for education, drilling debate
COLUMBUS _ "I know how to resolve this fracking controversy," Uncle Chet said, then sipped his second glass of red wine.
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Handicapping the 2012 race in a dust cloud
COLUMBUS _ The little miscreant was graduating from high school, going to college. We were having a party here in just four days, but we were power-sanding in the kitchen, making a dust cloud that filled the room, coating everything as it sank to the floor.
- Tuesday, June 14, 2011
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Spackle can only do so much to fix problems
COLUMBUS _ "This ceiling reminds me of my face," Uncle Chet said, standing on the eight-foot stepladder, cutting in with a sash brush.
- Tuesday, May 31, 2011
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The rich are getting richer, more powerful
COLUMBUS _ "You know, there's only one thing wrong with the world," Uncle Chet paused, then dropped a log onto the stack.
- Tuesday, May 17, 2011
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Facing down the dreaded colonoscopy
Colonoscopy. Cousin Bruce talked me into it. He's a decade younger and if he was doing it, then coming from the same gene pool, so should I, I reasoned in February and made an appointment.
- Tuesday, May 3, 2011
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Wounds left by Osama still healing
COLUMBUS _ We were lying down, reading, ready for lights out when the phone rang late Sunday night. I looked at the caller I.D. before answering, "You're too old to be up at this hour."
- Tuesday, April 19, 2011
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The rich are thriving in country's class warfare
We sat in the basement cafeteria Friday night, eating off sectioned plastic trays, as students have done for generations.
- Tuesday, April 5, 2011
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There's still one job we haven't shipped overseas
"Where are the French?" Uncle Chet asked from across the table where we were having coffee.
- Tuesday, March 22, 2011
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Obama strikes oil with assault on Libya
We were on our way to the dump Saturday, three across the bench seat, when we heard the news.
- Tuesday, March 8, 2011
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Caught between tanking dollar, rising oil prices
COLUMBUS _ "Got to get some wood in; it's gonna snow," I said as I rose from the couch Saturday afternoon.
- Tuesday, February 22, 2011
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Conversation on the trail to rock stardom
SCRANTON, PA. _ It was a cool, sunny morning in late February, and we were tooling down Interstate 81 in the silver pickup.
- Tuesday, February 8, 2011
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Cheney's chum about to get his walking papers
The snow piles were becoming tall white walls and the paths between them were narrowing as we cleared the driveway again Sunday morning.
- Tuesday, January 25, 2011
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Taxing wealthy would give us rich future
COLUMBUS _ "The state of the union is deplorable, and I hope he says so, because we ought to do something about it," Uncle Chet said, then lowered an armful of logs into the wood box.
- Tuesday, January 11, 2011
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Poll will show what people are thinking
COLUMBUS _ "I have to go, but I want to do it myself," Buddy announced from the recliner.
- Tuesday, December 28, 2010
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Target within sight; summit within reach
It was snowing and windy, and the road was icy, running between desolate, snow-covered fields in the town of Plainfield. We were climbing a long hill, up in God's country, looking for a microwave tower.
- Tuesday, December 14, 2010
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Tax deal will help rich get richer
"Dear Mr. President: "Your tax deal with the Republicans is an abomination.
- Tuesday, November 30, 2010
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GOP's denial is all about bottom line
COLUMBUS _ The little chair was a blessing to the back, but the pipe at the front of the canvas seat pressed under my knees, and my legs were numbing.
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The future of news: video on the Internet



