COLUMBUS _ We were driving down River Road on the way to Curtis Lumber on Saturday morning when Uncle Chet observed, "You're low on gas."
The needle showed about an eighth of a tank left.
"We'll make it. This truck's pretty good on gas," I said.
"How good?"
"Oh, 20; maybe 18 around town."
"What year is this thing?" He peered out at the silver hood as we rounded a curve where the Unadilla River cuts close to the road.
"Ninety-three."
"So, in 1993, they were selling full-sized pickups that got 20 miles to the gallon," he said. "And 18 years later, with all the advances in science and technology, they're still only getting 20."
"If you're lucky," I said.
"That's got to change, drastically," Uncle Chet said. "We need trucks that get 50, cars that get a 100, and we need 'em now. The alternative is killing the oceans, BP style."
"The only good ocean's a dead ocean," I said.
"The Gulf of Mexico is a perfect illustration of Republican energy policy: Drill, baby, drill," he said. "Look what it's gotten us. A dead zone the size of France, oil plumes the size of Rhode Island sucking up the oxygen, poisoning the water."
"No more American shrimp," I said. "I guess if you were looking for a smart investment today, you'd find a shrimp farm in Thailand."
"No more shrimp, no more gulf coast of Florida, no more Sanibel Island, no more Key Biscayne or Key Largo, not the way they have been: unspoiled. Mother Earth's been poked in the eye and she doesn't like it. This oil may be flowing for a generation, moving with the Gulf Stream, shellacking the East Coast with black crude from the gulf."
"Maybe BP should change its name to Gulf," I said.
"Name's taken, but they may want to change it," he said. "This disaster has given a new twist to `Gulf Oil."'
"Well, look at the bright side," I said as we crossed Route 80 in Hoboken on the outskirts of New Berlin.
"What's that?"
"You won't have to wear sun tan oil at the beach anymore."
"You won't have to swim at the beach anymore, either," he said. "You know what gets me?"
"What?"
"That they don't have any equipment, any idea of how to deal with this. They're just fumbling around, pretending they know what they're doing, but they don't know how contain a spill this size. I don't mean just BP. I mean the industry, the regulators, everyone. They're pushing to open more and more ocean floor to drilling, but they don't know what they're doing."
"Or don't care, as long as they're making money," I said.
"It's the financial meltdown, all over again," he said. "It's just taking place in the water, instead of on Wall Street. A huge, largely unregulated industry, operating in the shadows, taking huge risks without our knowledge. They get away with it, well after well, trade after trade, until one day it all blows up, and then we get a glimpse of what's really going on."
"Like roulette," I said. "But isn't that the essence of capitalism? You take your chances?"
"No, this is corporatism, the opposite of capitalism," he said. "Here, you takes your chances, mislead everyone except the insiders, pocket a bundle, then foist your losses onto the public when the jig's up."
"Geesh," I said as I slowed down as we crossed Wharton Creek.
"Capitalism works only when you're forced to cover your actual damages," he said. "In other words, it can't work without sensible regulation to safeguard the public and rein in the crazies. Without rules, you're inviting the corporation to behave like a highwayman, and unfortunately that's what we're seeing more and more of."
"And it's probably legal."
"Sure it's legal," he said. "We were ruled by Big Oil for eight years, and the legacy of that is bubbling up now."
Cooperstown Bureau Reporter Tom Grace is traveling with his Uncle Chet, who he says is imaginary. Grace's column appears every other week. For more of his columns, visit www.thedailystar.com/tomgrace.
Tom Grace
Big Oil's legacy bubbling up from the gulf
- Tom Grace
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The future of news: video on the Internet
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Uncle Chet advises little miscreant
COLUMBUS _ The little miscreant is off to college this month, and we had a dinner in her honor at Uncle Chet and Aunt Alice's log cabin Sunday.
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Here's to everyone paying their fair share
COLUMBUS _ Buddy and I were working on the woodpile at Uncle Chet's house, stacking about 10 face cord of pungent ash, maple and cherry. The sun was beating down, and the pine needles crackled underfoot. Everything around us was tinder dry, that is, except the wood we were moving.
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Easy fixes for education, drilling debate
COLUMBUS _ "I know how to resolve this fracking controversy," Uncle Chet said, then sipped his second glass of red wine.
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Handicapping the 2012 race in a dust cloud
COLUMBUS _ The little miscreant was graduating from high school, going to college. We were having a party here in just four days, but we were power-sanding in the kitchen, making a dust cloud that filled the room, coating everything as it sank to the floor.
- Tuesday, June 14, 2011
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Spackle can only do so much to fix problems
COLUMBUS _ "This ceiling reminds me of my face," Uncle Chet said, standing on the eight-foot stepladder, cutting in with a sash brush.
- Tuesday, May 31, 2011
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The rich are getting richer, more powerful
COLUMBUS _ "You know, there's only one thing wrong with the world," Uncle Chet paused, then dropped a log onto the stack.
- Tuesday, May 17, 2011
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Facing down the dreaded colonoscopy
Colonoscopy. Cousin Bruce talked me into it. He's a decade younger and if he was doing it, then coming from the same gene pool, so should I, I reasoned in February and made an appointment.
- Tuesday, May 3, 2011
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Wounds left by Osama still healing
COLUMBUS _ We were lying down, reading, ready for lights out when the phone rang late Sunday night. I looked at the caller I.D. before answering, "You're too old to be up at this hour."
- Tuesday, April 19, 2011
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The rich are thriving in country's class warfare
We sat in the basement cafeteria Friday night, eating off sectioned plastic trays, as students have done for generations.
- Tuesday, April 5, 2011
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There's still one job we haven't shipped overseas
"Where are the French?" Uncle Chet asked from across the table where we were having coffee.
- Tuesday, March 22, 2011
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Obama strikes oil with assault on Libya
We were on our way to the dump Saturday, three across the bench seat, when we heard the news.
- Tuesday, March 8, 2011
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Caught between tanking dollar, rising oil prices
COLUMBUS _ "Got to get some wood in; it's gonna snow," I said as I rose from the couch Saturday afternoon.
- Tuesday, February 22, 2011
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Conversation on the trail to rock stardom
SCRANTON, PA. _ It was a cool, sunny morning in late February, and we were tooling down Interstate 81 in the silver pickup.
- Tuesday, February 8, 2011
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Cheney's chum about to get his walking papers
The snow piles were becoming tall white walls and the paths between them were narrowing as we cleared the driveway again Sunday morning.
- Tuesday, January 25, 2011
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Taxing wealthy would give us rich future
COLUMBUS _ "The state of the union is deplorable, and I hope he says so, because we ought to do something about it," Uncle Chet said, then lowered an armful of logs into the wood box.
- Tuesday, January 11, 2011
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Poll will show what people are thinking
COLUMBUS _ "I have to go, but I want to do it myself," Buddy announced from the recliner.
- Tuesday, December 28, 2010
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Target within sight; summit within reach
It was snowing and windy, and the road was icy, running between desolate, snow-covered fields in the town of Plainfield. We were climbing a long hill, up in God's country, looking for a microwave tower.
- Tuesday, December 14, 2010
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Tax deal will help rich get richer
"Dear Mr. President: "Your tax deal with the Republicans is an abomination.
- Tuesday, November 30, 2010
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GOP's denial is all about bottom line
COLUMBUS _ The little chair was a blessing to the back, but the pipe at the front of the canvas seat pressed under my knees, and my legs were numbing.
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The future of news: video on the Internet



