AMSTERDAM _ The air was biting cold outside, but it was warm in the old pickup, tooling along the Thruway.
``This is our exit,’’ said Hon, who had printed out a Google map.
``Amsterdam.’’ Uncle Chet looked toward the old brick city. ``Haven’t been here in a while.’’
``I haven’t been here in 40 years,’’ I said.
``We’re still a ways from Cambridge,’’ he said. ``That’s just north of where I was born.’’
``Never thought I’d go to just north of where you were born to get a claw-foot bathtub.’’ I glanced at Hon.
``They’re pretty rare,’’ she said, ``especially when they’re small and deep like this one.’’
``Are you buying this thing, sight unseen?’’ Uncle Chet asked as we slowed down on the curving exit ramp.
``We’re not driving six hours to go window shopping,’’ I said.
``It looked good in the photos,’’ Hon said. ``And the ad said the porcelain is perfect.’’
``Wonder how old it is?’’ I slowed for a tollbooth in a line of traffic.
But when I clutched to down-shift, the clutch froze to the floor. I hit the pedal again; it stayed down. I swore, braked harder, reached down with my left hand to my left heel, stretching until my nose was just above the dashboard and I got a finger under the pedal.
I pulled the pedal up, then pushed it halfway down again with my foot and wiggled the shift into neutral.
``Is that an Olympic sport?’’ Uncle Chet said.
``That’s Toyota quality,’’ I said. ``But it’s happened before, so I know what to do.’’
``You mean, you’re going to do that every time we shift?’’ he said. ``I’m getting out right here.’’
``No, I just can’t put the pedal all the way down,’’ I assured him. ``Something freezes when it hits the floor.’’
``Why don’t you get it fixed?’’ he asked as we idled up to the toll attendant.
``It only happened once; I thought it went away.’’
``We should have taken my truck,’’ he said ruefully.
``We’ll be fine.’’ I took the change and closed the window. ``When we get home, I’ll call Toyota and ask them to recall all their ’93 pickups.’’
``There are no other ’93s,’’ he said. ``They’ve done their 350,000 miles and been recycled.’’
``Take Route 30 north,’’ Hon pointed to the sign.
``Then I’ll ask Congress to investigate,’’ I said. ``It’s an outrage, clutches wearing out after only 17 years.’’
``I think Toyota should be investigating Congress, not the other way around,’’ Uncle Chet said. ``How many people has Toyota killed with its faulty brakes?’’
``I heard 19,’’ Hon said.
``Nineteen?’’ Uncle Chet said. ``Toyota sells 2 million vehicles a year here. There must be at least 20 million on the road, so your odds of being killed by Toyota’s faulty brakes would seem to be less than one in a million.’’
``Sounds right,’’ I said as we wound through downtown.
``And what are the odds of finding a senator lining his pocket, representing Big Business?’’ he asked.
``Oh, probably even money,’’ I said.
``Or having a mistress on the side?’’
``Three in 10?’’ I posited.
``I say even money on that, too,’’ Hon said as we glided past Walgreens in a line of traffic.
``And what are the odds of a senator soliciting carnal favors in the men’s room?’’
``That, we know is at least one in a hundred,’’ I said.
``And how many people has Congress killed with the endless wars it funds and the endless stalling on universal health care?’’
``Thousands, tens of thousands,’’ I said.
``So there you have it. Congress is rife with ethics problems, in the pocket of the high and mighty, and people are dying.’’ Uncle Chet said. ``Toyota should have a field day looking into this.’’
Cooperstown Bureau Reporter Tom Grace is traveling with his Uncle Chet, who he says is imaginary. Grace’s column appears every other week. For more of his columns, visit www.thedailystar.com/tomgrace.
Tom Grace
Travels with Uncle Chet: Toyota can ride on its record
- Tom Grace
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The future of news: video on the Internet
COLUMBUS _ "Well, I'm going to do it, retire tomorrow," I told Uncle Chet last Thursday, then pulled on the thick braided wire that ran up and down the chimney.
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Uncle Chet advises little miscreant
COLUMBUS _ The little miscreant is off to college this month, and we had a dinner in her honor at Uncle Chet and Aunt Alice's log cabin Sunday.
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Here's to everyone paying their fair share
COLUMBUS _ Buddy and I were working on the woodpile at Uncle Chet's house, stacking about 10 face cord of pungent ash, maple and cherry. The sun was beating down, and the pine needles crackled underfoot. Everything around us was tinder dry, that is, except the wood we were moving.
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Easy fixes for education, drilling debate
COLUMBUS _ "I know how to resolve this fracking controversy," Uncle Chet said, then sipped his second glass of red wine.
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Handicapping the 2012 race in a dust cloud
COLUMBUS _ The little miscreant was graduating from high school, going to college. We were having a party here in just four days, but we were power-sanding in the kitchen, making a dust cloud that filled the room, coating everything as it sank to the floor.
- Tuesday, June 14, 2011
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Spackle can only do so much to fix problems
COLUMBUS _ "This ceiling reminds me of my face," Uncle Chet said, standing on the eight-foot stepladder, cutting in with a sash brush.
- Tuesday, May 31, 2011
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The rich are getting richer, more powerful
COLUMBUS _ "You know, there's only one thing wrong with the world," Uncle Chet paused, then dropped a log onto the stack.
- Tuesday, May 17, 2011
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Facing down the dreaded colonoscopy
Colonoscopy. Cousin Bruce talked me into it. He's a decade younger and if he was doing it, then coming from the same gene pool, so should I, I reasoned in February and made an appointment.
- Tuesday, May 3, 2011
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Wounds left by Osama still healing
COLUMBUS _ We were lying down, reading, ready for lights out when the phone rang late Sunday night. I looked at the caller I.D. before answering, "You're too old to be up at this hour."
- Tuesday, April 19, 2011
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The rich are thriving in country's class warfare
We sat in the basement cafeteria Friday night, eating off sectioned plastic trays, as students have done for generations.
- Tuesday, April 5, 2011
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There's still one job we haven't shipped overseas
"Where are the French?" Uncle Chet asked from across the table where we were having coffee.
- Tuesday, March 22, 2011
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Obama strikes oil with assault on Libya
We were on our way to the dump Saturday, three across the bench seat, when we heard the news.
- Tuesday, March 8, 2011
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Caught between tanking dollar, rising oil prices
COLUMBUS _ "Got to get some wood in; it's gonna snow," I said as I rose from the couch Saturday afternoon.
- Tuesday, February 22, 2011
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Conversation on the trail to rock stardom
SCRANTON, PA. _ It was a cool, sunny morning in late February, and we were tooling down Interstate 81 in the silver pickup.
- Tuesday, February 8, 2011
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Cheney's chum about to get his walking papers
The snow piles were becoming tall white walls and the paths between them were narrowing as we cleared the driveway again Sunday morning.
- Tuesday, January 25, 2011
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Taxing wealthy would give us rich future
COLUMBUS _ "The state of the union is deplorable, and I hope he says so, because we ought to do something about it," Uncle Chet said, then lowered an armful of logs into the wood box.
- Tuesday, January 11, 2011
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Poll will show what people are thinking
COLUMBUS _ "I have to go, but I want to do it myself," Buddy announced from the recliner.
- Tuesday, December 28, 2010
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Target within sight; summit within reach
It was snowing and windy, and the road was icy, running between desolate, snow-covered fields in the town of Plainfield. We were climbing a long hill, up in God's country, looking for a microwave tower.
- Tuesday, December 14, 2010
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Tax deal will help rich get richer
"Dear Mr. President: "Your tax deal with the Republicans is an abomination.
- Tuesday, November 30, 2010
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GOP's denial is all about bottom line
COLUMBUS _ The little chair was a blessing to the back, but the pipe at the front of the canvas seat pressed under my knees, and my legs were numbing.
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The future of news: video on the Internet



