COLUMBUS _ "Well, I'm going to do it, retire tomorrow," I told Uncle Chet last Thursday, then pulled on the thick braided wire that ran up and down the chimney.
A pulley squeaked, and the worn wire-brush rose three feet, scraping at the soot. I took a quick breath, pulled again, and the air around me began to fill with flecks of creosote.
Uncle Chet stepped back, said: "That's a nice set-up. I should have done that on my chimney."
"I can't imagine climbing this one," I looked up into the midday sky, then pulled again, and the brush did its dirty work.
"When's the last time you cleaned it?" he asked.
"Maybe January."
"I guess it's not too bad," he said, "although it's a little dirtier than I expected."
"I'll have more time to do things like this when I'm retired," I said.
"Naw, you'll be as busy as ever."
"I doubt it."
"You ought to get into politics," he said.
"When I'm retired, I'll have time to read, read a whole book, all in the same year," I said. "I haven't done that for 30 years. And I was talking to cousin Bruce, and I guess we're going to raise chickens."
"Either of you ever raise chickens?" he asked.
"No."
"There are pitfalls." His eyebrows arched behind silver wire-rim glasses.
"You can come over and supervise."
"In exchange for six birds, I will," he said.
"We'll work that out later."
"And why don't we start a blog?" he said. "You know, you're going to wake up Monday, ready to go to work, so why not do some reporting on the depression? It's all around us, isn't it? People on the edge, people on fixed incomes, people living on Social Security? How many are behind on their taxes, behind on their mortgages, working two or more jobs and still going broke"?"
"What's this `we' stuff?" I tugged again, and the brush hit the stop at the top of the chimney. I pulled on the other side of the loop, and it scraped down, faster in this direction, sending a foul cloud out the iron chimney door frame.
"I'll be your idea man," he said.
"You know what they say about success being 1 percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration?"
"Uh huh."
"They were talking about idea men."
"You might win a Pulitzer if you really got into it," he said, "into the cause and effect, the villains, the victims, the consequences playing out all around us. Do it in video, I think that's the future of news: video on the Internet."
"People still like to hold that paper," I said.
"We could launch it on Facebook."
"Paper, in the hands, paper moving around the room with you," I said. "Cut out the photos of your kids in school, of your parents' 50th wedding anniversary, and the rest is perfect starter fuel for your wood stove."
"They said a lot of that about books, too, and look at Kindle books," he said. "They're already outselling paper books."
"I'll buy used books," I said.
"You're an old dog, but you might be able to learn a new trick," he said, "how to hold a camera instead of a pad when you're reporting."
"I think your first idea was better," I said.
"Which one was that?"
"Never mind. What did you do when you retired?" I asked him.
"I went fishing," he said.
"There, I said, "I rest my case."
Cooperstown bureau Reporter Tom Grace is traveling with his Uncle Chet, who he says is imaginary. This is Grace's final column. For more of his columns, visit www.thedailystar.com/tomgrace.
Tom Grace
The future of news: video on the Internet
- Tom Grace
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Uncle Chet advises little miscreant
COLUMBUS _ The little miscreant is off to college this month, and we had a dinner in her honor at Uncle Chet and Aunt Alice's log cabin Sunday.
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Here's to everyone paying their fair share
COLUMBUS _ Buddy and I were working on the woodpile at Uncle Chet's house, stacking about 10 face cord of pungent ash, maple and cherry. The sun was beating down, and the pine needles crackled underfoot. Everything around us was tinder dry, that is, except the wood we were moving.
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Easy fixes for education, drilling debate
COLUMBUS _ "I know how to resolve this fracking controversy," Uncle Chet said, then sipped his second glass of red wine.
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Handicapping the 2012 race in a dust cloud
COLUMBUS _ The little miscreant was graduating from high school, going to college. We were having a party here in just four days, but we were power-sanding in the kitchen, making a dust cloud that filled the room, coating everything as it sank to the floor.
- Tuesday, June 14, 2011
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Spackle can only do so much to fix problems
COLUMBUS _ "This ceiling reminds me of my face," Uncle Chet said, standing on the eight-foot stepladder, cutting in with a sash brush.
- Tuesday, May 31, 2011
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The rich are getting richer, more powerful
COLUMBUS _ "You know, there's only one thing wrong with the world," Uncle Chet paused, then dropped a log onto the stack.
- Tuesday, May 17, 2011
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Facing down the dreaded colonoscopy
Colonoscopy. Cousin Bruce talked me into it. He's a decade younger and if he was doing it, then coming from the same gene pool, so should I, I reasoned in February and made an appointment.
- Tuesday, May 3, 2011
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Wounds left by Osama still healing
COLUMBUS _ We were lying down, reading, ready for lights out when the phone rang late Sunday night. I looked at the caller I.D. before answering, "You're too old to be up at this hour."
- Tuesday, April 19, 2011
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The rich are thriving in country's class warfare
We sat in the basement cafeteria Friday night, eating off sectioned plastic trays, as students have done for generations.
- Tuesday, April 5, 2011
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There's still one job we haven't shipped overseas
"Where are the French?" Uncle Chet asked from across the table where we were having coffee.
- Tuesday, March 22, 2011
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Obama strikes oil with assault on Libya
We were on our way to the dump Saturday, three across the bench seat, when we heard the news.
- Tuesday, March 8, 2011
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Caught between tanking dollar, rising oil prices
COLUMBUS _ "Got to get some wood in; it's gonna snow," I said as I rose from the couch Saturday afternoon.
- Tuesday, February 22, 2011
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Conversation on the trail to rock stardom
SCRANTON, PA. _ It was a cool, sunny morning in late February, and we were tooling down Interstate 81 in the silver pickup.
- Tuesday, February 8, 2011
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Cheney's chum about to get his walking papers
The snow piles were becoming tall white walls and the paths between them were narrowing as we cleared the driveway again Sunday morning.
- Tuesday, January 25, 2011
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Taxing wealthy would give us rich future
COLUMBUS _ "The state of the union is deplorable, and I hope he says so, because we ought to do something about it," Uncle Chet said, then lowered an armful of logs into the wood box.
- Tuesday, January 11, 2011
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Poll will show what people are thinking
COLUMBUS _ "I have to go, but I want to do it myself," Buddy announced from the recliner.
- Tuesday, December 28, 2010
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Target within sight; summit within reach
It was snowing and windy, and the road was icy, running between desolate, snow-covered fields in the town of Plainfield. We were climbing a long hill, up in God's country, looking for a microwave tower.
- Tuesday, December 14, 2010
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Tax deal will help rich get richer
"Dear Mr. President: "Your tax deal with the Republicans is an abomination.
- Tuesday, November 30, 2010
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GOP's denial is all about bottom line
COLUMBUS _ The little chair was a blessing to the back, but the pipe at the front of the canvas seat pressed under my knees, and my legs were numbing.
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Uncle Chet advises little miscreant
