I love statistics. I love percentages. With statistics and percentages you can lie like a champion and get away with it, because who will challenge you?
If you don't believe me, just look at any politician _ they all use statistics and percentages and get voted into office year after year because we all know that "Politicians NEVER lie." The problem with politicians and our government is we never get the WHOLE story so we never can tell when they are truthful or lying.
I can picture you right now, kicking back and saying to yourself, "Geerken is going after politicians again," but you would be only 99 percent correct. The other 1 percent is where I try to "love my politician," and if you believe this then the cracking noise you just heard as you read this was hell freezing over.
How many of you dear readers remember when Ivory soap was 99 and 44/100 percent pure? Did you ever wonder what was in the 56/100 percent that wasn't pure Ivory soap? Would you believe that it was "snips and snails and puppy dog tails?" What would you say if I told you that the 56/100 percent was ground glass or filler for a taco?
I liked Ivory soap because it floated _ a white rectangle in an otherwise inky black tub-full of luke-warm water. (The water was inky black because my brothers John and Richard hit the tub before me on Saturday night.)
I used to wonder about the sanity of someone famous saying that they would walk a mile for a cigarette. Talk about nicotine being addictive!
Remember when 9 out of 10 doctors smoked cigarettes? The whole story about those 9 doctors was that they also were dying from lung cancer. If you were the 1 doctor out of 9 who didn't smoke cigarettes, you were made to feel guilty for being healthy.
The joy of percentages is that you can make them seen very important. When you look at the statement "9 out of 10." it really carries not much of an impact, but look what happens if I tell you that 90 out of 100 doctors smoked cigarettes. It surely sounds impressive. What about 9,000 out of 10,000 doctors smoking cigarettes? This number is very impressive but it still is the same percentage _ 90 percent. No wonder it is always a long wait to see a doctor, they are all outside smoking a cigarette. (Cough, cough!)
Did you ever think about getting a good grade on a test? This usually meant that you passed the test.
For some tests this was scoring a 65 percent or better (65 out of 100). Did you ever think about the 35 percent that was considered not passing or "failing?"
Would that 35 percent failing have a bigger impact for you if you got on a plane and the pilot said "I want you to know that I was tested and I could successfully land this plane 65 percent of the time."
How about if you are going for a liver transplant and the doctor says as she is pulling on her gloves, "I'm successful in this operation two out of three times, and this is my third operation today."
Would you find any comfort in knowing that the first two operations that day were failures?
How would you feel as you started going "under" to hear your liver surgeon say, "Whoops"? (Better yet, at the end of the operation hear the surgeon say, "How come we have so many parts left over?")
Do you recall a number of years ago the presidential candidate said of his chosen running mate, "I stand behind this man 110 percent"?
A few days later some sordid details came to light and the running mate was dropped. If there ever was something that was a sure thing it should be being backed by 110 percent.
It is easy to forget that 110 percent of bologna is still nothing more than bologna. (A lot of it!)
If you are a gardener you have surely read seed packets that contain the words "Germination 97 percent." This means that if you plant 100 seeds, 97 will grow up to look like something on the cover of the seed packet.
See time on Page C3
Senior scene
As Time Goes By: You can't get the whole story by playing the percentages
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From the Office: Unleash the power of age by volunteering
This year marks the 50th anniversary of May as Older Americans Month. "Unleash the Power of Age" has been selected as the theme emphasizing the important role of older adults.
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Looking Back: A sad ending for adorable, sweet Taffy-toes
Another unwanted drop-off? Yes and so I must write this.
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As Time Goes By: Dealing with side effect of pills can really be a pain
At age 76, I find myself incontinent. Actually the problem started well before that date but now it has gone beyond "a problem," to "holy smoke the dam broke."
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From the Office: Try spring cleaning, organizing for stress release
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Looking Back: Take your time, think ahead before making decisions
A lifetime may seem forever for some, especially when we were young and couldn't wait to grow up and get to do all things we saw the adults do. Come to think of it, perhaps that wasn't too good.
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As Time Goes By: Getting sick in the southern sun
I went and did it - I have heard about southern hospitality so much that I thought I would see if it extended to the hospitals as well.
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From the Office: Despite professional advice, we still eat too much sodium
High blood pressure affects many seniors, putting them at risk of heart disease and stroke. The risks are much higher if they have diabetes, too.
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Looking Back: Shopping just isn't the same when you get older
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Social Security: Learn more about Social Security's own 'Final Four'
A fellow Social Security employee wrote this entertaining and informative article and shared it with me. I think it's worth sharing with all of you. Hope you enjoy it…
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As Time Goes By: Coming of age in the grocery store
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From the Office: Ensure you are safe when you take to the roads
The ability to drive is something that most of us count on, whether it be to get to work, shopping, medical or other appointments, visiting friends and family and any number of other activities. When the vehicle or the driver is out of commission, life can certainly be more difficult.
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Looking Back: What's in name? Sometimes a lot when talking about pets
When remembering years gone by, I always think fondly of the many delightful pets we had. I still miss them as each one had their own distinct personality that was so enchanting, entertaining and even sometimes exasperating.
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As Time Goes By: Tell my leg to stop pulling my leg
After 76 years of living with it, I have decided that my right leg has a mind of its own.
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From the Office: Don't miss a deduction when filing taxes this year
Happy New Year, everyone! It is that time of year when we are busy getting our tax paperwork in order. Before filing your taxes, don't miss out on deductions related to medical expenses and other costs that come out of your wallet, especially if you care for a family member throughout the year.
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Looking Back: Belief of life after death offers tranquility
As I write this column tears of sadness have been shed. I didn't think I could express myself for fear of sounding so remorseful to the point of despair.
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Social Security: Website now offers more through my Social Security portal
Happy New Year! As we enter 2013, I want to share some exciting news regarding recent enhancements made to our website. Take a look at the following news release that came out Jan. 7 from Social Security's press office, telling us all about a new service available to the public.
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As Time Goes By: It's a New Year and why am I still hung over?
Here we are, New Year's revelry has passed and now for those who imbibed too much the "price" must be paid.
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From the Office: Stay warm during cold winter months to avoid hypothermia
The winter months can be a difficult and dangerous time for anyone living in this area of the country where temperatures regularly fall below freezing.
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It helps to face old age with a happy heart
How do old folks feel when it comes to living through that time in their lives? Well, I’m at the 80-year mark now, and believe me, this is not what is said to be “Golden Years� in any form whatsoever!
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Social Security: An oldie but goodie on Frosty the Snowman and direct deposit
Yes, it's that time of year again -- time to go through my dad's old holiday articles and choose one to share with everyone.
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From the Office: Unleash the power of age by volunteering



