There's an old saying that has been used many, many times throughout the years: "You get more bees with honey than with vinegar." (I prefer bees to the flies.)
It seems easier to criticize or to find fault by looking for errors than to look for the good points in anyone and something to commend. "Fault-finding" seems to be very prevalent in the world today, and certainly it is one of the causes for anyone's depression.
Humility teaches us that we all are imperfect and that we all can do better ... but with the help and kindnesses of each other, the task can be easier.
Through the years and especially so as I have gotten older I have found the above to be so true.
Yes, one good word goes a long way and a good deed along with that will be fondly remembered. As said: Actions speak louder then words.
You do "reap what you sow," and now, today, there have been many a thoughtful reciprocation. Acts of kindness are appreciated: There has been homemade chicken soup and apple pie, flowers, thinking-of-you cards, and the delicious garden vegetables from folks who still have those green thumbs along with their youthful vigor.
Even though old age or disabilities with their limitations can curtail many a good deed, still there is always a friendly phone call, a visit, or a little something in the mail to express the thankfulness for someone's love.
My brother repeats an interesting scripture on his answering phone message. It's a proverb which encourages a 'good word:' "As apples of gold in silver carvings is a word spoken at the right time for it." (Proverbs 25:11)
As I get older and older, and my brother is right behind me along with many family members, we perceive that there isn't much left of this life. I realize that subject is one a person doesn't like to talk about much less read about but reality is reality.
In the past year we have attended several funeral services with each being very different. One clergyman actually entertainingly sang the audience songs while another had to read a lengthy prayer. Just recently a minister was remembering some humorous experiences when a 6-year-old little boy in the audience spoke out extemporaneously, loudly exclaiming, "... and he called you an old grouch." (Who said, "Out of the mouth of babes oft time come gems?" Well, you know who stole the show.)
But now to be serious: I must relate how I actually appreciated what was said on the sad occasion of losing a dear, dear friend who we all will miss. The speaker highlighted and commended the individual's life with many experiences we all could relate to. Not only were accomplishments referred to, but many biblical Scriptures were highlighted that gave insight on the hope of a future promised life and assurance of being reunited again with family and friends all enjoying health and happiness. The closing prayer was from the heart, which we all could say "Amen" to. We all took home with us the feeling for a better tomorrow and a life left now to enjoy as we can be helpful to others.
So, as I think about funerals or memorial services, I hope I will be remembered for being a person who tried to be helpful and caring and forgiving for any shortcomings that might have offended.
In the meantime ... on a happy note: I do feel OK even though the "old ageisms" do get to me ever so often. I still can encourage, commend and thank others for their thoughtfulness and good deeds.
That "honey" the bees love can go a long way.
Elaine W. Kniskern is a 78-year-old resident of Schenevus and a grandmother of five. She can reached at elaine-kniskern@stny.rr.com. 'Senior Scene' columns can be found at www.thedailystar.com/seniorscene.
Senior scene
Looking Back: We all must try to be more like honey than vinegar
- Senior scene
-
-
From the office: Celebrate spring by making sure all your plans are in place
By Nancy Dingee At last, I think we can finally say that spring is here!
-
Looking Back: Good times could be found on the beach yesterday and today
By Elaine Kniskern Sometimes we just need a change of pace and scenery with a little vacation or a simple getaway weekend.
-
Social Security: Initiatives help some who need benefits get them faster
By Tracey Weaver May is National ALS Awareness Month. Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or ALS, more commonly referred to as Lou Gehrig's disease, is a progressive neurodegenerative disease that attacks nerve cells and pathways in the brain and spinal cord.
-
As Time Goes By: Sing it with me: 'M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E' in 2012
By Henry Geerken I just love election years. Never have so many done so little for so much money. (Isn't it a shame that the gravy train passed us by?)
-
From the Office: Medicare encourages preventive health care with visits
Bt Wayne L. Shepard By the time we become eligible for Medicare, most of us have learned that change is constant and inevitable.
-
Senior Scene: Crash showed determination pays off for small-business owners
By Elaine Kniskern I guess we all have "tales to tell" in a lifetime _ that's if we dare too, for there can be legal repercussions. So I will be careful.
-
Social Security: Divorce doesn't necessarily mean end to ex's Social Security benefits
Here's a quiz for you.
-
As Time Goes By: Find a slogan and raise your taxes; you can pick a winner
By Henry Geerken Have you been paying attention to the "town meetings" that have been held in preparation for the big election less than a year from now?
-
From the Office: Much you need to know about Medicare can be found online
By Frances Wright Medicare and all its different parts can be extremely confusing.
-
Looking Back: Freedom to speak your mind important for children, too
By Elaine Kniskern We are so fortunate in this country with our many freedoms.
-
Social Security: Don't wait on paperwork to file for disability benefits
Disability is something most people do not like to think about. But if you're not able to work because you have a medical condition that is expected to last at least one year or result in death, you may be able to get Social Security disability benefits. Here's what you need to know.
-
As Time Goes By: The bug confused me, got me and refused to let me go
By Henry F. Geerken I got sick.
-
From the office: Needs are great, help is plentiful for a long time after a disaster
By Nancy Dingee During the last of week of August and first week of September, our picturesque rural county was ravaged by Hurricane Irene and Tropical Storm Lee.
-
Looking Back: Like today, role models of yesteryear offered good, bad examples
By Elaine Kniskern Years ago there was an expression among the younger generation. I haven't heard it in many a year: The expression was about being a "party-pooper" and certainly no young person, or even the older folks, wanted to have that label. Perhaps another term that was used was a "wet-blanket." No popularity contest was won when a person was in those categories. and certainly no invites for social functions would be forth coming.
-
Social Security: It's not too late to sign up for Part B
By Tracey L. Weaver If you didn't sign up for Medicare Part B medical insurance when you first became eligible for Medicare, you now have an opportunity to apply -- but you only have a little over a month to get signed up.
-
As Time Goes By: For eons, inventors have found gold dealing with people's teeth
By Henry F. Geerken Picture if you will, way back in time, a mountainous cliff with openings called "caves." In one cave were a caveman and a cavewoman, (what else?) sitting by a fire eating chunks of meat.
-
From the Office: Take steps to make wintertime falls less likely
By Wayne Shepard Cold weather can be tough on every one, but it is particularly tough for the older population. The snow looks pretty, but winter can be a scary season due to increased chances of falling on snow or ice. But there are a few things you can do to help prevent falls besides being homebound or packing up and moving to warmer climate.
-
Looking Back: We got a chance to see the greener grass on the other side
By Elaine Kniskern People seem never to be satisfied with what they have in life. There is always better and bigger, or perhaps it's "the grass that looks greener on the other side of the fence."
-
Social Security: Make your New Year's resolutions be about the future
Happy 2012 from Social Security! With the arrival of the new year, many people are putting together lists of goals and resolutions. Here are some new year's resolutions that you may find worth keeping:
-
As Time Goes By: Losing the keys to memory, one sip at a time
By Henry F. Geerken As you age, there will come an eventful day when you will forget something.
-
From the office: Celebrate spring by making sure all your plans are in place
