My husband and I were in our late 30s when we were both sadly and tragically widowed. It was a page in our lives that we never wanted to repeat.
But now, 40-plus years later, we have to face the possible eventuality again. I guess everyone who gets to be elderly has to think about these things ... at least they should be prepared.
Looking back over those years _ informative years _ much we learned. The average person seldom has the opportunity to do so. Why would I say such a thing? Opportunity?
Does a horrible trauma in life have any positives? It really does as you will see.
Thus I can truthfully say that when you lose something or someone so very valuable and precious and then you are privileged and blessed to receive that again ... well ... your whole souled appreciation is so deepened to the point of never wanting any rift in that relationship. You are totally dedicated to smoothing out any and all situations that might cause any friction. (This can be done.)
Now, that statement could make a knowledgeable person smirk a bit for our lives today in this world are full of ups and downs. As said, "for better or for worse" but there are many wonderful times in a marriage, and then there's the other side of the coin: There are the "worse" statistics showing that more than 50 percent of marriages end in divorce.
Having gone through loss of a mate and the entire trauma that goes with it: That gives your life most serious concern. It gives a person more insight and understanding especially when having the opportunity of comforting someone else. There is a rapport, an emotional affinity. This complete feeling of compassion is something to be learned through experience.
I don't know how else to express this in human terms or know of any words to relate this with full understanding. It comes from the heart. You actually can touch another's saddened heart with tenderness and hope.
It was some 40-plus years ago when my now-hubby and I found ourselves without a helpmate and true companion: We both had young children that needed a balanced family life and we both needed true love back again.
Where can you find an outstanding individual that will meet all of your expectations? Age, interests, congeniality, humility, true love and unselfishness etc., etc., etc., plus hopefully those "starry eyed" feelings that we all dream about. Where?
Many well-meaning people have many suggestions but there was one successful answer that we both have carried on throughout our lives: The power of prayer and most importantly the adherence to Bible principles.
Perhaps that doesn't seem too important to the average reader, for there seems to be a church on every corner and there still are the statistics. The proof is in the pudding (as said).
I often think: When you make an important purchase there is a manufacturer's manual. If you read and comply with the instructions there is success ... if you don't ... well ... you know what will most likely happen.
Isn't life the most important "item" you possess? And we do have the manufacturer's (our Creator's) manual to go by for happiness, fulfillment, security and an important relationship with our God and his son.
What more can I say? Our lives have been full. My husband and I have been married for now more than 41 years. Our three children are on their own and doing all right. We are both active and busy with the important priorities of life. We do see the doctor from time to time, as older folks do and all is going fairly well at this point in time.
Elaine W. Kniskern is a 79-year-old resident of Schenevus and a grandmother of five. She can reached at elaine-kniskern@stny.rr.com. 'Senior Scene' columns can be found at www. thedailystar.com/seniorscene.
Senior scene
Follow the manual to have a long, mostly happy life
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From the Office: Unleash the power of age by volunteering
This year marks the 50th anniversary of May as Older Americans Month. "Unleash the Power of Age" has been selected as the theme emphasizing the important role of older adults.
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Looking Back: A sad ending for adorable, sweet Taffy-toes
Another unwanted drop-off? Yes and so I must write this.
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As Time Goes By: Dealing with side effect of pills can really be a pain
At age 76, I find myself incontinent. Actually the problem started well before that date but now it has gone beyond "a problem," to "holy smoke the dam broke."
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From the Office: Try spring cleaning, organizing for stress release
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Looking Back: Take your time, think ahead before making decisions
A lifetime may seem forever for some, especially when we were young and couldn't wait to grow up and get to do all things we saw the adults do. Come to think of it, perhaps that wasn't too good.
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As Time Goes By: Getting sick in the southern sun
I went and did it - I have heard about southern hospitality so much that I thought I would see if it extended to the hospitals as well.
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From the Office: Despite professional advice, we still eat too much sodium
High blood pressure affects many seniors, putting them at risk of heart disease and stroke. The risks are much higher if they have diabetes, too.
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Looking Back: Shopping just isn't the same when you get older
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Social Security: Learn more about Social Security's own 'Final Four'
A fellow Social Security employee wrote this entertaining and informative article and shared it with me. I think it's worth sharing with all of you. Hope you enjoy it…
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As Time Goes By: Coming of age in the grocery store
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From the Office: Ensure you are safe when you take to the roads
The ability to drive is something that most of us count on, whether it be to get to work, shopping, medical or other appointments, visiting friends and family and any number of other activities. When the vehicle or the driver is out of commission, life can certainly be more difficult.
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Looking Back: What's in name? Sometimes a lot when talking about pets
When remembering years gone by, I always think fondly of the many delightful pets we had. I still miss them as each one had their own distinct personality that was so enchanting, entertaining and even sometimes exasperating.
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As Time Goes By: Tell my leg to stop pulling my leg
After 76 years of living with it, I have decided that my right leg has a mind of its own.
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From the Office: Don't miss a deduction when filing taxes this year
Happy New Year, everyone! It is that time of year when we are busy getting our tax paperwork in order. Before filing your taxes, don't miss out on deductions related to medical expenses and other costs that come out of your wallet, especially if you care for a family member throughout the year.
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Looking Back: Belief of life after death offers tranquility
As I write this column tears of sadness have been shed. I didn't think I could express myself for fear of sounding so remorseful to the point of despair.
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Social Security: Website now offers more through my Social Security portal
Happy New Year! As we enter 2013, I want to share some exciting news regarding recent enhancements made to our website. Take a look at the following news release that came out Jan. 7 from Social Security's press office, telling us all about a new service available to the public.
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As Time Goes By: It's a New Year and why am I still hung over?
Here we are, New Year's revelry has passed and now for those who imbibed too much the "price" must be paid.
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From the Office: Stay warm during cold winter months to avoid hypothermia
The winter months can be a difficult and dangerous time for anyone living in this area of the country where temperatures regularly fall below freezing.
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It helps to face old age with a happy heart
How do old folks feel when it comes to living through that time in their lives? Well, I’m at the 80-year mark now, and believe me, this is not what is said to be “Golden Years� in any form whatsoever!
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Social Security: An oldie but goodie on Frosty the Snowman and direct deposit
Yes, it's that time of year again -- time to go through my dad's old holiday articles and choose one to share with everyone.
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From the Office: Unleash the power of age by volunteering
