We've all heard the stories of men treating women like sex objects, right?
Well, ladies, you could be right, but what accusations would come about if we turned the tables? The term "success object" is seldom used in public, let alone casual conversation, for obvious reasons: no one wants to admit that their commitment to someone harbors deeply on their ability to succeed financially (or in the bedroom, for that matter.)
However, a "success object" is by no means limited to relationships. When it comes to the understanding one's parents have with their child, success is always buried deep in the manifolds of approval, or in some cases, a lack thereof.
Parents who are reading this will always claim that the love they have for their children will never depend on how successful they are, but let's take a step back and think of this in drawn-out segments.
When raising a child, everyone prefers to have less stress, as opposed to the obvious alternative. When this child enters teenhood, he's bound to make decisions that could ultimately determine his rate of success.
Maybe the teen is caught with drugs, and then not accepted to the college of her choice because of her criminal record. Perhaps another chose to spend an entire night studying instead of hanging out and therefore bumps his grade point average up a few points. Either way, the child's success rate is going to change.
I'm not going to pretend that parents have some sort of unconditional love for their children. I'm sure deep down they do, but I have seen countless parents who have expressed nothing but anguish and annoyance toward their offspring. Do you think they would have reacted this way if their child had flown through school with flying colors, and never even had a scratch on her criminal record? I don't like to assume, but we can all agree that the more of a hassle something turns out to be, the less we turn out to like it.
In this way, teenagers can become success objects for their parents.
To gain the approval and devotion that most teens crave from their parents, they have to achieve a certain amount of success. Now, the real question is: Is objectifying teens by success causing de-stress or distress?
The answer is both. While parents enjoy the benefits of having successful children, teens are stuck in a very different boat where in some cases their entire life is devoted to becoming as successful as possible in adolescence.
It's ironic, though, because as parents watch their children become more successful, in some cases a phenomena occurs where they simply give up on objectifying. Teens will develop an upward trend where after a while, reward doesn't exist. Success becomes the average as the parents of this extraordinary child look toward punishment only as the way to raise their child.
This is tough to look into, because psychologically we can't really say what kind of effect this will have on the child. We do have a few scenarios though. The most preferable would be that the teen develops into the type of person who rarely makes mistakes.
Don't get excited, though. There is a significant chance that this method will backfire tremendously. Even though teens are referred to as young adults, they're still children and still desire the attention of their parents. When parents stop rewarding, teens often take it as a sign of being ignored. They start to realize that the only time they really get attention is when they're punished, so they start to cause a slip here and there, although they almost always won't intend to do it. Some refer to this as a "cry for help" but that makes it sound so desperate. Desperate is far from the lifestyle these fall into.
Teens are success objects to some parents. But what about the kids whose parents really hold no weight on whether they succeed or not? Some teens succeed without the influence of their parents, while others are said to have failed because their parents didn't care enough. Is this a reverse situation where some teens only gain attention from being rewarded and therefore strive for success? I honestly couldn't tell you.
Every parent is different, and every child is different. No child will ever turn out to be exactly as his parent intends. For this reason, it's absolutely natural for parents to try to influence the lives of their children in the way that pleases them most. Whether that is with love, pressure, hate, etc. _ each child is the object of someone's success.
Dan Clark, a 2010 graduate of Afton Central School, is a rising sophomore at the State University at Albany. 'Teen Talk' columns can be found at www.thedailystar.com/teentalk.
We've all heard the stories of men treating women like sex objects, right?
To Dad, With Love: Give gifts of experiences, presents from the heart
Just as research shows that experiences tend to make people happier than material possessions, the gifts that are individual, created and experienced make Father's Days most memorable.Continued ...
History of Father's Day
The first records of an official Father's Day in United States took place near Monongah, W.Va., in 1908 as a community-wide memorial following a coal mining explosion where 362 men perished.Continued ...
Oneonta's Mr. Baseball
The title "Mr. Baseball" in Oneonta doesn't get tossed around lightly like a Frisbee. It's more like a manhole cover, as those who have earned the title didn't just hope for good luck to bring or keep baseball in Oneonta. They used determination and hard work to achieve that goal.Continued ...
The plot beckons
It is time to plant a garden.Continued ...
The history of Memorial Day
Though not formally designated by Congress as a federal holiday until 1971, Memorial Day has its roots in private and pensive observances dating back to the 19th century.Continued ...
- To Dad, With Love: Give gifts of experiences, presents from the heart
- Around The Arts
Art found in the foods at local road stands, markets
Artisanal foods have become quite popular in recent years, with some abuse of the term by mass-retailers and fast food restaurants.Continued ...
'Record Breaker' exhibit to be at Orphic Gallery
"Record Breaker," featuring the work of Greg Frederick, will open Saturday at the Orphic Gallery in Roxubry.Continued ...
Local programs help children's creativity grow
I am not a stage mom. But, the other day I ended up in the middle of a discussion with a stage dad who, for many years, has designated a great deal of his time and resources to support his teenage sonâ€™s performing career. The cry of the stage parent: chauffeuring from one rehearsal to the next, scouting costumes, building sets, selling tickets and program ads, and, of course, sitting in the audience for the entire production run. Then, without a breath, off to the next one!Continued ...
An artist label can be placed on many types of people
"You are such an artist."Continued ...
Dip your toe in the art world through Pinterest
I am a magazine ripper. I always have been. I have shoesboxes and file folders filled with decorating ideas, recipes and other miscellaneous projects. No matter how hard I've tried, I can never seem to organize or tame the scraps of inspiration floating around my house.Continued ...
- Art found in the foods at local road stands, markets
- Music Beat
Music Industry Tips About Professional Musicians
Musicians know that every performance they play is an audition for their next engagement.Continued ...
Practice really does make perfect for professionals
Shortly after I was hired at the age of 25 to work in the Music Department at State University College at Oneonta, I played a concert for members of this community. At the end of the concert, a young audience member said to me, â€œHow many years have you been playing the cello and do you still have to practice?â€�Continued ...
Stepping on the flag, and other memories
If we are to be defined all our lives by our high school mascots, then I suppose I am a Viking. But I'm also a Panther, having transferred schools after my freshman year.Continued ...
From SUNY Oneonta to CBS Sports
Some people say the music business is failing, but I don’t agree with that point of view. Neither does Joseph Miller.Continued ...
- 12 Music Industry Tips from Joseph Miller
- Music Industry Tips About Professional Musicians
- Parenting Imperfect
I'm relieved it's not just me
For the last few years, I've been convinced that I'm just harder on things than other people are.Continued ...
A tactical error in the handoff
My kids are lucky enough to have half of their grandparents within a three-hour drive.Continued ...
A potentially quiet afternoon interrupted by a dog and a balloon
The kids spent most of Martin Luther King Jr. Day bickering.Continued ...
The dog is a getting to be an expert at training
This sentence took 20 minutes to type.Continued ...
Bad things can happen when trends are no longer trendy
When I was a kid, it used to drive me bonkers that my mom didn't know anything about the most important things in my world. She had no idea what a friendship pin was or how you'd make one. She couldn't name any good band, i.e., the ones a pre-teen would listen to like Duran Duran or Wham. And she didn't find Robert Downey Jr. nearly as dreamy as I did.Continued ...
- I'm relieved it's not just me
- Senior scene
Looking Back: It's always important to express your graditude
There has been so many times in life that someone, somewhere, has done a kindness for another. Again, I can look back and be reminded that I, too, have been remiss at times with a thank you to express my gratitude for that kindness.Continued ...
Social Security: Dads, don't get hooked by 'phishing' scams
This month, in honor of fathers everywhere, I want to share this article written by a fellow Social Security employee:Continued ...
As Time Goes By: Looking at retirement options (FOR MEN ONLY)
This is the time of year when decisions are made concerning retirement.Continued ...
From the Office: Unleash the power of age by volunteering
This year marks the 50th anniversary of May as Older Americans Month. "Unleash the Power of Age" has been selected as the theme emphasizing the important role of older adults.Continued ...
Looking Back: A sad ending for adorable, sweet Taffy-toes
Another unwanted drop-off? Yes and so I must write this.Continued ...
- Looking Back: It's always important to express your graditude
- Tech, GP
Thankful hard-disk shortage is about over, and counting my blessings
Well, I'm almost ready to let out a cheer.Continued ...
Businesses need backups for their computer people, systems
In the interest of full disclosure, I want to let you know that I have taken a new position, professionally. I recently joined Eastman Associates, a local general contractor, to do its IT work, as well as taking care of some other functions of the business.Continued ...
Windows 8 seems to be made for the good of Microsoft, not the user
By Bruce Endries The software company everybody loves to hate, Microsoft, recently released what it calls a "consumer preview" of their next operating system, Windows 8.Continued ...
The Granite State got it right on software purchases
Believe it or not, I have found a bright spot in the political landscape, amid all the vitriolic partisan fighting.Continued ...
Visit a construction site and you'll probably find an iPad
It was just about two years ago now, that the iPad came out, and I wrote a column about it. At that time, I went out on a limb and said that thought it was a product which would fill certain niches very well, but that it wasn't very likely to fill in for what is normally considered a computer.Continued ...
- Thankful hard-disk shortage is about over, and counting my blessings
- Teen Talk
On the Go: We can't let age define us
I hate the concept of age. I understand wanting to quantify your existence, but age is blown way out of proportion.Continued ...
Weekend Reviews: British TV show works in the U.S.
Up until this year, my first year at college, the only time I'd heard the words "Doctor Who" mentioned were in passing by my friends who had a passion for science fiction. I, for the most part, do not.Continued ...
Teenhood Today: Bob, the Houdini hamster
My family is not pet-oriented, but that doesn't mean we haven't had pets.Continued ...
A Word of Advice: How to become an 'alpha' male
This oneâ€™s for the lads and gents, maybe the ladies, too, if theyâ€™d care to eavesdrop on this man-to-man Iâ€™m about to lay down on the male readership.Continued ...
On the Go: Patriotism doesn't mean keeping status quo
I've been labeled many things, but when anti-American and unpatriotic came into the picture recently I was surprised. I know I have some controversial opinions, but since when does that equate to not loving America? I'm a born and raised American kid, and I love America.Continued ...
- On the Go: We can't let age define us