I love statistics. I love percentages. With statistics and percentages you can lie like a champion and get away with it, because who will challenge you?
If you don't believe me, just look at any politician _ they all use statistics and percentages and get voted into office year after year because we all know that "Politicians NEVER lie." The problem with politicians and our government is we never get the WHOLE story so we never can tell when they are truthful or lying.
I can picture you right now, kicking back and saying to yourself, "Geerken is going after politicians again," but you would be only 99 percent correct. The other 1 percent is where I try to "love my politician," and if you believe this then the cracking noise you just heard as you read this was hell freezing over.
How many of you dear readers remember when Ivory soap was 99 and 44/100 percent pure? Did you ever wonder what was in the 56/100 percent that wasn't pure Ivory soap? Would you believe that it was "snips and snails and puppy dog tails?" What would you say if I told you that the 56/100 percent was ground glass or filler for a taco?
I liked Ivory soap because it floated _ a white rectangle in an otherwise inky black tub-full of luke-warm water. (The water was inky black because my brothers John and Richard hit the tub before me on Saturday night.)
I used to wonder about the sanity of someone famous saying that they would walk a mile for a cigarette. Talk about nicotine being addictive!
Remember when 9 out of 10 doctors smoked cigarettes? The whole story about those 9 doctors was that they also were dying from lung cancer. If you were the 1 doctor out of 9 who didn't smoke cigarettes, you were made to feel guilty for being healthy.
The joy of percentages is that you can make them seen very important. When you look at the statement "9 out of 10." it really carries not much of an impact, but look what happens if I tell you that 90 out of 100 doctors smoked cigarettes. It surely sounds impressive. What about 9,000 out of 10,000 doctors smoking cigarettes? This number is very impressive but it still is the same percentage _ 90 percent. No wonder it is always a long wait to see a doctor, they are all outside smoking a cigarette. (Cough, cough!)
Did you ever think about getting a good grade on a test? This usually meant that you passed the test.
For some tests this was scoring a 65 percent or better (65 out of 100). Did you ever think about the 35 percent that was considered not passing or "failing?"
Would that 35 percent failing have a bigger impact for you if you got on a plane and the pilot said "I want you to know that I was tested and I could successfully land this plane 65 percent of the time."
How about if you are going for a liver transplant and the doctor says as she is pulling on her gloves, "I'm successful in this operation two out of three times, and this is my third operation today."
Would you find any comfort in knowing that the first two operations that day were failures?
How would you feel as you started going "under" to hear your liver surgeon say, "Whoops"? (Better yet, at the end of the operation hear the surgeon say, "How come we have so many parts left over?")
Do you recall a number of years ago the presidential candidate said of his chosen running mate, "I stand behind this man 110 percent"?
A few days later some sordid details came to light and the running mate was dropped. If there ever was something that was a sure thing it should be being backed by 110 percent.
It is easy to forget that 110 percent of bologna is still nothing more than bologna. (A lot of it!)
If you are a gardener you have surely read seed packets that contain the words "Germination 97 percent." This means that if you plant 100 seeds, 97 will grow up to look like something on the cover of the seed packet.
See time on Page C3
Lifestyles
As Time Goes By: You can't get the whole story by playing the percentages
- Lifestyles
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The history of Memorial Day
Though not formally designated by Congress as a federal holiday until 1971, Memorial Day has its roots in private and pensive observances dating back to the 19th century.
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Memorial Day: A day to remember
Memorial Day sets the stage for a variety of scenes and emotions. Designed to remember those who have died while in our nation’s service, the day's events can be as diverse as the people in this great county.
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Why did you serve?
Numerous local residents have spent time in service to our country in the military. Some joined out of a duty to our county, others were pressed into service through the draft, still others wanted to take advantage of the G.I. Bill. In honor of their service and Armed Forces Day on Saturday, we asked our readers why they served and what they took away from their service.
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Fitness key during pregnancy
Women have been having babies since well before time has been recorded by humans.
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Beyond the stacks: Local libraries offer everything from history to technology
The local libraries within the Four County Library System still make information available to their patrons in the traditional way -- books. They are also storehouses of local history: old photos, newspapers, genealogy records, diaries and letters.
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The history of Memorial Day
- Around The Arts
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'Record Breaker' exhibit to be at Orphic Gallery
"Record Breaker," featuring the work of Greg Frederick, will open Saturday at the Orphic Gallery in Roxubry.
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Local programs help children's creativity grow
I am not a stage mom. But, the other day I ended up in the middle of a discussion with a stage dad who, for many years, has designated a great deal of his time and resources to support his teenage son’s performing career. The cry of the stage parent: chauffeuring from one rehearsal to the next, scouting costumes, building sets, selling tickets and program ads, and, of course, sitting in the audience for the entire production run. Then, without a breath, off to the next one!
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An artist label can be placed on many types of people
"You are such an artist."
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Dip your toe in the art world through Pinterest
I am a magazine ripper. I always have been. I have shoesboxes and file folders filled with decorating ideas, recipes and other miscellaneous projects. No matter how hard I've tried, I can never seem to organize or tame the scraps of inspiration floating around my house.
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Arts encompasses so much more than visual, performing, musical things
This column was due when I was in the throes of our season at The Glimmerglass Festival, when all we are thinking about is the arts -- how to make people more aware of the arts, to engage in the arts. And -- what exactly do "the arts" entail?
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'Record Breaker' exhibit to be at Orphic Gallery
- Music Beat
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Music Industry Tips About Professional Musicians
Musicians know that every performance they play is an audition for their next engagement.
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Practice really does make perfect for professionals
Shortly after I was hired at the age of 25 to work in the Music Department at State University College at Oneonta, I played a concert for members of this community. At the end of the concert, a young audience member said to me, “How many years have you been playing the cello and do you still have to practice?�
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Stepping on the flag, and other memories
If we are to be defined all our lives by our high school mascots, then I suppose I am a Viking. But I'm also a Panther, having transferred schools after my freshman year.
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From SUNY Oneonta to CBS Sports
Some people say the music business is failing, but I don’t agree with that point of view. Neither does Joseph Miller.
Continued ... - 12 Music Industry Tips from Joseph Miller
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Music Industry Tips About Professional Musicians
- Parenting Imperfect
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I'm relieved it's not just me
For the last few years, I've been convinced that I'm just harder on things than other people are.
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A tactical error in the handoff
My kids are lucky enough to have half of their grandparents within a three-hour drive.
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A potentially quiet afternoon interrupted by a dog and a balloon
The kids spent most of Martin Luther King Jr. Day bickering.
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The dog is a getting to be an expert at training
This sentence took 20 minutes to type.
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Bad things can happen when trends are no longer trendy
When I was a kid, it used to drive me bonkers that my mom didn't know anything about the most important things in my world. She had no idea what a friendship pin was or how you'd make one. She couldn't name any good band, i.e., the ones a pre-teen would listen to like Duran Duran or Wham. And she didn't find Robert Downey Jr. nearly as dreamy as I did.
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I'm relieved it's not just me
- Senior scene
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From the Office: Unleash the power of age by volunteering
This year marks the 50th anniversary of May as Older Americans Month. "Unleash the Power of Age" has been selected as the theme emphasizing the important role of older adults.
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Looking Back: A sad ending for adorable, sweet Taffy-toes
Another unwanted drop-off? Yes and so I must write this.
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As Time Goes By: Dealing with side effect of pills can really be a pain
At age 76, I find myself incontinent. Actually the problem started well before that date but now it has gone beyond "a problem," to "holy smoke the dam broke."
Continued ... - From the Office: Try spring cleaning, organizing for stress release
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Looking Back: Take your time, think ahead before making decisions
A lifetime may seem forever for some, especially when we were young and couldn't wait to grow up and get to do all things we saw the adults do. Come to think of it, perhaps that wasn't too good.
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From the Office: Unleash the power of age by volunteering
- Tech, GP
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Thankful hard-disk shortage is about over, and counting my blessings
Well, I'm almost ready to let out a cheer.
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Businesses need backups for their computer people, systems
In the interest of full disclosure, I want to let you know that I have taken a new position, professionally. I recently joined Eastman Associates, a local general contractor, to do its IT work, as well as taking care of some other functions of the business.
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Windows 8 seems to be made for the good of Microsoft, not the user
By Bruce Endries The software company everybody loves to hate, Microsoft, recently released what it calls a "consumer preview" of their next operating system, Windows 8.
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The Granite State got it right on software purchases
Believe it or not, I have found a bright spot in the political landscape, amid all the vitriolic partisan fighting.
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Visit a construction site and you'll probably find an iPad
It was just about two years ago now, that the iPad came out, and I wrote a column about it. At that time, I went out on a limb and said that thought it was a product which would fill certain niches very well, but that it wasn't very likely to fill in for what is normally considered a computer.
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Thankful hard-disk shortage is about over, and counting my blessings
- Teen Talk
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A Word of Advice: How to become an 'alpha' male
This one’s for the lads and gents, maybe the ladies, too, if they’d care to eavesdrop on this man-to-man I’m about to lay down on the male readership.
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On the Go: Patriotism doesn't mean keeping status quo
I've been labeled many things, but when anti-American and unpatriotic came into the picture recently I was surprised. I know I have some controversial opinions, but since when does that equate to not loving America? I'm a born and raised American kid, and I love America.
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Luhrmann brings Gatsby new life
Sure, you would think that being a college student and having finals rapidly approaching would equate to my growing anticipation for the summer and being done with my first year of college.
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Teenhood Today: Only you can determine your impact
The question I am most often asked is, "What do you want to do with your life?"
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A Word of Advice: Just do something
If you're not going upward, the only direction you can go is down. To stagnate is to surrender; to do nothing for yourself; to give up on a better day completely. If we sit around feeling good enough in all aspects of life, or just too lazy to fix them, well, as Albert Einstein put it, "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
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A Word of Advice: How to become an 'alpha' male



