Planning a wedding takes good organization and attention to detail.
A store of beautiful memories is the result of that organization and attention.
Allowing enough time to investigate your options means you can find fun instead of stress in the process.
Weddings are as individual as the couple marrying, and the time needed to organize varies according to the style of the event: booking a particular banquet room in a luxury hotel for a Saturday wedding in June with 200 guests requires more lead time than a reception for 50 guests in the hospitality room of your own church or synagogue.
From 12 to nine months before the wedding
"¢ Announce your engagement.
"¢ Make a budget plan. Know what you can and are willing to spend on the wedding. Consult with others who are helping to pay expenses, if there are such contributors.
"¢ Consider hiring a wedding planner as a source of much good advice and as a person who has clout with vendors.
"¢ Set a date for the wedding.
"¢Reserve ceremony and reception sites.
Don't dawdle about making this reservation; big hotels sometimes book a year ahead.
Setting the date and booking the sites are really interdependent activities. For some couples, the date is more important. They may wish to marry on the anniversary of the day they met, while any of several possible reception sites would suit.
For others, the location is paramount and dictates the choice of the date, either because of availability or, in the case of an outdoor wedding, the bloom time of a favorite flower.
"¢ Select a wedding assistant and attendants.
"¢ Choose the wedding style, colors and patterns in consultation with your intended and with an eye for what would suit your attendants.
"¢ Make a provisional guest list. The number of guests, based on your list, will change a few times.
But the list will remain a convenient way to estimate how many people are coming to the ceremony or whom may need to get directions from you. Also, you can reduce expenses by shortening the list, if you need to.
"¢ Choose your officiant. For many couples this is a simple choice -- the clergyman affiliated with their regular house of worship. But others might prefer a secular ceremony by a justice of the peace. On the other hand, you might prefer to have an inspirational speaker of another sort. There are many options for you and your fiancé to consider.
"¢ Select a caterer.
"¢ Find a baker for the wedding cake, ask to see pictures of cakes from previous weddings, and ask to taste samples.
Catering and the cake are other details that may be dependent on the choice of the reception venue. Hotels usually have catering packages for you to choose from and will not permit catering from another source _ even if your uncle, the Food Network star, wants to cater as a gift.
And some venues that offer catering don't offer wedding cakes, but require that the cake you bring in comes from a commercial kitchen. Aunt Beatrice may have owned and operated a bakery for 30 years, but now that she's retired, a cake she makes, while delicious, won't satisfy their legal and insurance requirements.
Church halls and community centers generally won't have similar requirements.
From Nine to six months before the wedding
"¢ Shop for your dress and then buy it. This may mean visits to bridal shops, department stores and large "bridal shows" held at hotels or conventions centers, if you are looking for traditional wedding attire, or a search through vintage clothing shops if you have something offbeat in mind. In either case, start early.
"¢ Make an appointment for a fitting and go to it.
"¢ Confirm that the bridesmaids have gone for fittings for their dresses; if possible coordinate a shopping trip with the bridesmaids for shoes and accessories.
"¢ Make final choices on men's attire.
"¢ Find photographers and videographers who will capture the kind of images you will want to remember from your wedding day.
If there is a particular spot where you would like to have some pictures taken, perhaps a park with a special rose garden or a scenic bridge, consult with the photographer about any permits or fees that might be involved.
"¢ Book a florist.
"¢ Interview bands or DJs and book one.
"¢ Research limousines and book yours.
"¢ Research local transportation and hotels for your out-of-town guests.
"¢ Arrange to have engagement pictures taken to the newspapers, and find requirements for placing an announcement of the wedding.
"¢ If you are going on a out-of-country honeymoon after the wedding, be sure that your passport is up to date and your immunization record is current.
From six to three months before the wedding
"¢ Send out "save the date" cards.
"¢ Research invitation styles and wording options: while an invitation to the wedding of a couple in their early twenties will probably reference their parents, a couple in their mid-thirties might send invitations in their own names.
"¢ Choose a bridal registry and register your gift preferences.
"¢ Shop for rings.
"¢ For Jewish weddings, order the Ketuba.
"¢ Finalize honeymoon plans with your travel agent.
"¢ Make any necessary deposits to vendors.
"¢ Arrange for the families of bride and groom meet, if they haven't yet, and coordinate clothes for wedding.
"¢ Book the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner. The date of the rehearsal may be determined by the availability of the officiant; it is usually scheduled for two or three days before the wedding, with the dinner immediately after. Traditionally, the groom's family pays for the rehearsal dinner, but tradition is changing, so make sure that the matter of who is to pay for the dinner is agreed upon early on.
"¢ If you're having a "do-it-yourself" event, perhaps outdoors at home, arrange for tent, tables and chairs and portable toilets.
"¢ Find out what you must do to get your marriage license.
From three to one month before the wedding
"¢ Make sure that all directions and maps to guide guests to the wedding are in order.
"¢ Finalize flowers and menu.
"¢ Choose the wedding music.
"¢ Book hair and make-up artists.
"¢ Purchase small accessories: candles, ring pillow, flower girl basket, wedding favors.
"¢ Discuss shots you want with the photographer.
"¢ Schedule your second fitting and keep that appointment.
"¢ Pick up wedding rings.
"¢ Let the disc jockey know if there is any music you want to hear.
"¢ Send out invitations eight weeks before the big day.
"¢ Meet with your vendors and pay your balance with them.
Four four to weeks before the wedding
"¢ Call guests who have not RSVP'd
"¢ Get the marriage license.
"¢ Confirm all final appointments/pickup schedules
Last two weeks
"¢ Plan and attend the bridesmaids' luncheon. This get-together could also be a tea, a cocktail party, or a dinner. The point is for the bride and her bridesmaids to spend a little relaxing time together now that most of the pre-wedding work is done.
Other important guests -- mothers, the groom's sister -- can also be invited. This is an appropriate time to present the bridesmaids with their gifts.
"¢ Attend the rehearsal so that everyone is clear where he or she should stand and what everyone must do at the ceremony
"¢ Enjoy the rehearsal dinner.
"¢ On your wedding day enjoy a sauna, have your hair done, have a facial.
And then enjoy the big day -- it will be a day to remember.
