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Lifestyles

September 12, 2009

Little time for 'me time': Not much down time even with kids in school, parents say

In 2008, 24 percent of the U.S. population, or 73.9 million, were children younger than 17. Of this, 67 percent lived with two parents, and nearly all of these parents were wage earners, according to National Institute of Health.

Now that school has begun and parents' schedules have changed to accommodate lessons and after-school programs and activities, when do parents find time to unwind? Does "me time" exist? Are working parents fatigued and strained by the daily grind?

According to several area parents, there is no "me time," and they wouldn't have it any other way.

"`Me time' is over-rated," Tammy Smith said. "Once you're a mother, there's not a whole lot of 'me time.' Your me time' is spending time watching your kids in sports or showing their calves, and spending time working, besides your husband."

Smith, along with her husband and six children, own and operate Sky-Mac Farms, a dairy farm in the town of Kortright. She is also a full-time employee of South Kortright school, where she works as an administrative assistant. Her day begins at 4 a.m. milking the cows, completing farm chores and getting the children ready for school. She arrives at school at 7:30 a.m. In addition, Smith is an assistant basketball and baseball coach after school. She arrives back home to milk the cows at 4:30 p.m.

South Kortright residents Ed and Marie Martin are dairy farmers, parents and grandparents to Garrett. The Martins both work outside the farm: Ed as a bus driver and Marie as the cafeteria cook and manager for South Kortright school. Besides all this, the couple are the primary caregivers for Garrett before and after school. With all they do, this couple has little "me time," and they too say that time is over-rated. "We enjoy Garrett here. He's the joy of our life," Marie said. "He makes everything and all the hard work worthwhile. He loves being on the farm."

Like most dairy farmers, the Martins are losing money producing milk. Because of this, they had to take second jobs to make ends meet. Their day begins around 3:45 a.m. every day, when they begin milking the cows and caring for the heifers. Marie arrives at the school around 6 a.m. and begins to prepare breakfast for students and staff.

Her day ends around 8 p.m., when chores, supper, homework and animal care are complete.

"At night, I get a little bit of time. And sometimes, Ed and I go out for supper," she said.

Ruth Freund, mother of six and custom jewelry designer, said she has plenty of time for herself now that her children are older.

"Because my kids are older, I don't have a problem finding time for myself," she said.

Despite this, Freund, a South Kortright resident, said she remembers a time when things were very different and when there was never enough time for her. "I couldn't wait for school to begin," she said. "Five years ago, I would be kissing the bus driver on the first day of school."

Freund's children, ages 9 through 22, are self-sufficient. "Now, they have to remind me when school begins," she said.

Besides her custom jewelry, Freund helps her husband, Rob, in his tattoo shop everyday. Her jewelry, Rubie's Originals, can be purchased at the shop, Grateful Ink, located in Stamford, and is displayed in several local shops including the Artisan Guild in Oneonta.

Stamford resident Mike Williams said he is happy school has begun. Forget about "me time," he said, rather he looks forward to "we time" with his wife and business partner, Geri Rideout. The couple own and operate The Coffee Shop, where their two children, Bobby and LeeAnne, often help out during the summer months. Rideout is also employed outside of the home as a cook for Phoenix House.

Betty Ann and Andy Post, South Kortright residents and dairy farmers, have four children ages 10 through 15. The couple said they too wouldn't trade their way of life despite the little time they have for relaxation. But they do admit there are advantages to the kids going back to school. "They aren't home every day messing up the house, and when school begins, my food bill goes down," laughs Betty Ann, who recently took a full-time job with South Kortright school as the confidential secretary to the school superintendent and the receptionist.

Andy said there is no down time on a farm, and looks forward to winter. "There is no 'me time' because we have the farm to run. I'm looking for some 'me time' this winter," he said as he bailed hay with his brother Warren and brother-in-law Al McClure.

According to Betty Ann, besides farm and outside of the home jobs, the couple is also busy with the kids' sports, the Junior Holstein Club, the 4H Calf Club and preparing for the Dairy Bowl in January. "The Dairy Bowl is the dairy industry's `Jeopardy.' The kids are quizzed on dairy farm questions such as 'How much does a gallon of milk weigh?," she said, adding that when she needs a time-out, she knows what to do.

"I never relax," she said, "but, when I need to escape, I take really long hot showers."

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