COLUMBUS _ ``The dollar’s
tanking,’’ Uncle Chet said during
dinner Saturday as we celebrated
the little miscreant’s 16th birthday.
``It’s dropping against the yen, the
yuan, the euro.’’
``May I have the cranberry
sauce?’’ Alice asked.
``It’s a little dollar, a weakling,’’
he said. ``Central banks are dumping
it, oil producers don’t want it.
The dollar’s becoming a pariah.’’
``It’s turning into a dime,’’ I said,
helping myself to chicken and rice.
``You’re right, and dimes aren’t
real money anymore,’’ he said.
``Ever drop one on the floor?’’
``Sounds like a slug,’’ I said.
``What’s a slug?’’ asked Buddy,
who’s in third grade.
``A fake coin,’’ I said. ``They used
to cut them out of steel and try
them in vending machines.’’
``But they don’t bother now,’’
Uncle Chet said. ``Our coins aren’t
worth counterfeiting
these
days.’’
``But the whole
world’s been in
recession,’’ Hon
said. ``Why’s the
dollar dropping?’’
``A lot of
reasons,’’ Uncle
Chet said. ``Only
we have a $12 trillion
debt. That’s
$40,000 owed by
every man, woman
and child in the
country on top
of their personal
debt. Do you think
we can pay off our
Chinese bankers?
The rest of the
world is betting
`no.’
``Only we have the most expensive
military in history, with troops in 120
countries and two losing occupations
to manage. Only we have the leastefficient
health care system in the
world, where providers and patients
struggle as middlemen pocket a fortune.
And only we’ve let our manufacturers
abandon us, so we really
have no way to get back into the trade
game, except to completely retool.’’
``It takes money to retool,’’ Hon
said.
``True,’’ Uncle Chet said. ``We
have no good options, but the
politicians don’t dare tell us that,
because it might lead to embarrassing
questions.’’
``It might lead to revolution,’’ I
said.
``It would lead to revolution if
they didn’t control the media,’’
Uncle Chet said. ``Can you imagine
if Fox went after the real traitors,
the one’s who voted for NAFTA
and greased the skids for jobs to
slide to China?’’
“Never happen,’’ I said.
``No, because Fox and its Fox-lite
competitors are run by the bigmonied
interests that profit from
America’s slide,’’ Uncle Chet said.
``There’s no allegiance to the flag of
the United States of America when
there’s a buck to be made.’’
``You mean a euro,’’ I said.
``Yes, unfortunately I do,’’ Uncle
Chet said. ``We’re well into the postnation-
state phase, where first loyalties
are to class, regardless of border.
It happened when capital poured
overseas in the ’90s and it’s happening
now in the currency world. You
can bet that the rich in all countries
are dumping dollars, and the vast
underclass _ what we used to call
the middle class here _ will be stuck
with them.’’
``Happy birthday to me,’’ the
little miscreant said. ``I turn 16 and
the world falls apart.’’
``Sorry about that. It just burns
me up to see what’s going on,’’
Uncle Chet said.
``I’m only kidding,’’ she said.
``Maybe we should change the
topic,’’ Alice said.
``Maybe we should give her her
present right now,’’ Uncle Chet
said, eyeing a card near his glass of
red wine.
``I think that’s a good idea.’’ The
girl brightened as he passed the
card to her.
``We may as well give her ours,
too,’’ Hon said, and another card
crossed the table.
``Shall we sing?’’ Alice said.
So we sang to the girl who’s
about to get her driver’s permit,
the little miscreant who’s little no
longer. And after the last note resonated,
she opened her mail.
The cards were funny, judging
from her expression as she read
them, and in each one were little
piles of greenbacks, which she
combined neatly, then stuffed into
her wallet.
``Thank you, everyone.’’ She
looked around the room. ``That is
just what I wanted, but next year, I
hope you’ll consider yen.’’
___
Cooperstown News Bureau Reporter
Tom Grace is traveling with
his Uncle Chet, who he says is imaginary.
Grace’s column appears every
other week.
Columns
Travels with Uncle Chet: Better stock up on yen
- Big Chuck D'Imperio
- Cary Brunswick
-
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What books would you recommend for a young reader?
What then, would be on that short list of books you might pass along to young people to help them prepare for life, and how do you decide which titles to include and which to omit?
Continued ... - Some wisdom is best passed down through books
- Let pragmatism, not politics, determine birth control debate
- As Center Street Elementary goes, so goes Center City
- U.S. intervention in Syria's uprising would be a gamble
-
What books would you recommend for a young reader?
- Chuck Pinkey
- Guest Column
-
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If we don’t develop a sustainable system, who will?
In Otsego County’s local elections last fall, a number of candidates — most of them on the independent Sustainable Otsego line — ran on an anti-fracking, pro-sustainability platform. They recognized that our current way of life — dependent on increasingly scarce, costly and polluting fossil fuels — cannot continue.
Continued ... - Time to get off the bus and on the computer
- Cuomo's Machiavellian maneuvers are a danger
- Home rule laws aren't a radical idea
- Sustainable shouldn't be a dirty word
-
If we don’t develop a sustainable system, who will?
- Lisa Miller
-
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Being a parent is a constant learning process
I am sitting cross-legged on the floor in the dressing room, waiting for Allie's dance number to be called. The cave girl costume has been donned, the jazz shoes double-tied, the hair pulled back, the requisite dab of lipstick applied.
Continued ... - Healthy doesn't have to mean expensive
- A family era ends with close of Potter series
- Independent stores make up for loss of Borders
- Untethered from the cable box
-
Being a parent is a constant learning process
- Mark Simonson
-
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A Main Street facelift for Oneonta in the 1920s
It has been just a little over 30 years, 1980 in fact, that Main Street in Oneonta went through a major transformation in appearance. Even now I'll hear mixed comments about the changes, which included antique style lamps, trees, planters and brick trim. Some liked the changes while others liked the wider street with the even-sized sidewalks.
Continued ... - Perfect attendance by Saturday’s Bread for 20 years in Oneonta
- Recalling the Hindenburg, John D. Rockefeller in May 1937
- Oneonta residents had diversions aplenty in the spring of 1952
- Damaschke essential to ensuring Oneonta baseball in 1927
-
A Main Street facelift for Oneonta in the 1920s
- Rick Brockway
-
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It’s easy to get hooked on Thirteenth Lake
OUTDOORS COLUMN BY RICK BROCKWAY ... With Memorial Day almost upon us, I was reminded of a great fishing adventure many years ago on this weekend.
- Climbing is one thing, but skydiving?
- Rattlesnakes may be closer than you think, so pay attention
- Spring is here, so fishing should pick up soon
- Sneaky fox may be the next animal looking to horse around
-
It’s easy to get hooked on Thirteenth Lake
- Sam Pollak
-
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I'm happy with our kids to a certain degree
It was several years ago, and I was in the kitchen, telling my eldest daughter and my then-teenaged son about the person who was taking over as publisher at The Daily Star.
Continued ... - I get by with a little help from my 'friends'
- It’s not easy for a politics junkie to get off the stuff
- The Encyclopaedia Britannica in print, unmourned by me
- Angelo Dundee was always a good man to have in your corner
-
I'm happy with our kids to a certain degree
- William Masters
-
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Time for lawmakers who put needs of society first
Richard Lugar, after six terms as a Republican senator -- known for his middle of the road rationality and his foreign policy finesse -- has been ousted by a Tea Party extremist backed by outside right-wing funding.
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War not worth gambling with lives of soldiers
Are you not tired of our war in Afghanistan? It had a point, once, after 9/11. Bush couldn't distinguish his myopic personal agendas from the nation's needs and let Osama escape, dropping the ball entirely, causing many deaths.
-
Titanic was a microcosm of U.S. economic disparity
Haunting reminders of the Titanic tragedy have wafted over us with the centenary of its sinking. The maiden voyage of an impressive, state of the art vessel, was a little like that of the Challenger space shuttle, at the cutting edge of developing technology. But the shuttle carried our pride in science and space exploration, not hundreds and hundreds of people.
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William Masters: Nation stands divided between 'us' and 'them'
In February, Trayvon Martin was shot dead as "suspicious" by a volunteer neighborhood watch man. The case has aroused community reaction in Sanford, Fla., and is still echoing across the country.
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A quarterback can't win the game alone
What is the relationship between democracy and wealth? Democracy is a political system, while wealth relates to economics. We have equal political rights, but we don't all have money. Extreme differences destroy the continuity of community solidarity.
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Time for lawmakers who put needs of society first

