Human beings seem predisposed to see differences, to divide the world into good vs. bad, safe vs. dangerous, self vs. other.
Perhaps it is a gift from our ancestors of long ago. When every day was struggle for survival and death might lurk behind every tree, it was probably important to notice things that were different. And different -- well, different was probably dangerous.
Human beings are also social animals -- we naturally wish to belong, to form groups. We bond as families, make friends, form tribes. This social nature combined with our predisposition for divisions created an early tendency to "other." We classify people as either "us" or "them." If you are one of "us," then you are probably good, safe, normal and right. If you are one of "them," then you are suspect -- likely bad, dangerous, weird and just flat wrong.
When I was a young man, I worked at a worker-owned cooperative, a democratic workplace. At the urgings of my co-workers on the night shift, I ran for the Board of Directors. With their support, I was easily elected to the Board, where I did my best to represent them. Soon, I noticed a difference in my night-shift peers. They didn't talk to me quite as much. Some were actually hostile. When I questioned them about it, they said, "You aren't one of us anymore, you're one of them." Which I was -- but only because they had elected me to that position. It was a heart-breaking lesson in how easily, how readily we "other" one another.
Today, I see it happening even more. People focusing on differences, creating unnecessary, dangerous divisions. Young vs. old. Men vs. women. Gay vs. straight. Citizens vs. illegal immigrants. Residents vs. students. Liberals vs. conservatives. Christians vs. Muslims. Atheists vs. believers. Jacob vs. Edward. Gryffindor vs. Slytherin. (OK, those last two are fictional -- but no less passionately defended by folks than the "real" divisions so many cling to.) Reading the online comments section of any newspaper or website (even that of this paper) is a rude course in the practice of "othering."
How does this "othering" serve us? We ARE different. Each of us IS unique. Our lives, our experiences, our stories -- all of them divide us. And yet, we share a common humanity. We share a common world. We share common needs, common spiritual questions, and quite often, common hopes and dreams. It is right and natural for us to disagree, to debate, and even to work at cross-purposes sometimes -- but it no longer serves us to vilify, denigrate and attack the human being opposite our imaginary line of Us vs. Them.
In the Christian scriptures, Jesus said, "Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who persecute you." In the Islamic holy book, the Qur'an, it is written, —¦ God will ordain love between you and those you hold as enemies." Even the Humanists, in their Third Manifesto, wrote, "(We) long for and strive toward a world of mutual care and concern, free of cruelty and its consequences, where differences are resolved cooperatively without resorting to violence … Humanists are concerned for the well being of all, committed to diversity, and respect those of different yet humane views." Similar passages exist in the holy scriptures of Buddhism, Jainism, Sikhism, Taoism, Hinduism, Confucianism and many other world religions. "Love Your Neighbor" is as universal as "Do Unto Others As You Would Have Done Unto You."
We've known the danger of Us vs. Them for centuries -- and yet, more and more, it seems we are encouraged to "other" one another; to vilify, disrespect and even assault those we perceive as different, those that disagree with us.
Political ads, editorial cartoons, and yes -- even religious columns -- they all seem to be encouraging us to demonize those we disagree with, to persecute those we don't understand. Such behaviors are based on fear -- fear of the other. It's time we learned the truth about the "others" in our world. There is NO "other." There is NO "them." There is only "us." We are they; they are we. And WE could all use more understanding, greater acceptance, and a deeper, abiding, transforming love.
It isn't going to be easy. Nobody ever said it would be. We are still going to disagree. We are still going to fight (though maybe we'll figure that one out some day, too … we can only hope).
Through it all, though, if we can resist the urge to "other," if we can pick just one of "them" and redefine them as one of "us," we can move one step closer to a world made healthy and whole -- a world where all are loved and there is no "other."
So may it be.
The Rev. Craig Schwalenberg is minister at the Unitarian Universalist Society of Oneonta.
Columns
Unlearning the 'us' and 'them' tendency
- Big Chuck D'Imperio
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Safety Patrol D.C. visits never get old
I asked Cam Morris, head of Eastern Travel/Oneonta Bus Lines, how many years her company has been handling the Safety Patrol trip to Washington, D.C.
Continued ... - My pal Brucie, savior of Sidney's hospital
- Catching a whiff of 'Vermont Vapor'
- Selections from the virtual mailbag
- Recalling days of 'Doughnut King'
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Safety Patrol D.C. visits never get old
- Cary Brunswick
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We've become our own worst enemies
The past month has been marked by a seeming unprecedented number of man-made tragedies, as distinct from those caused by violent outbursts of the natural world, such as earthquakes, hurricanes and tsunamis.
Continued ... - Plenty of blame to go around for Bangladesh horror
- Obama is going against his word on Social Security
- Reflecting on a Florida trip
- Those magnificent spies in their flying machines
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We've become our own worst enemies
- Chuck Pinkey
- Guest Column
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A closer look at the Oneonta town survey
The Town of Oneonta conducted a survey of town residents during February and March of this year. The survey indicated that generally town residents are satisfied with the quality of services provided and they are happy to live here. They want to balance the quiet, rural way of life we have with additional commercial development and environmentally sound practices.
Continued ... - Farmers markets are in full bloom
- Records seizure is an insult to free press
- The evangelical view of same-sex marriage
- Manor's fate will be Otsego board's legacy
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A closer look at the Oneonta town survey
- Lisa Miller
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A view from above
Fire towers in the Catskill Mountains have always been destination points, built to capture some of the region’s best views. These sentinel stations served an important role for the earliest possible sightings of forest fires in the remote mountain ranges. But the fire towers and those who manned them fulfilled a multitude of other roles as well.
Continued ... - Being a parent is a constant learning process
- Healthy doesn't have to mean expensive
- A family era ends with close of Potter series
- Independent stores make up for loss of Borders
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- Mark Simonson
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Blackmail scheme failed to hurt Richfield Springs resort season in 1888
The timing simply couldn't have been worse. Thousands of visitors were making plans for their summer vacations to Richfield Springs in 1888 when a bombshell of a newspaper article hit the newsstands of New York City. The article appeared in The New York Sun that stated typhoid fever and diphtheria had a "heavy presence" in the resort village, known and respected worldwide for its cleanliness and good health.
Continued ... - General Clinton Canoe Regatta got a new home in 1972
- Sunday movies in Oneonta finally shown in 1934
- Politics, fitness and landmarks dominated local news in May 1968
- Local people sought income in many ways in 1933
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Blackmail scheme failed to hurt Richfield Springs resort season in 1888
- Rick Brockway
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Waterfalls are even better when you keep them to yourself
Millions of people flock to see the great waterfalls of the world. They watch the millions of gallons of water wash over Niagara Falls or see the water come out of spectacular mountains to fall hundreds of feet into the valleys below. Waterfalls are truly some of nature's most beautiful sights.
- Kids have sparkle in their eyes
- People make the outdoors even better
- Turkey season has ups and downs
- Spring air isn't always the freshest
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Waterfalls are even better when you keep them to yourself
- Sam Pollak
- William Masters
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Schreibman tops Chris Gibson on women's issues
As the time to vote draws near, we need to remember how money can run politics more than we can. Raising funds is a prominent (if not the dominant) task of getting elected. Raising issues is also crucial, but those efforts are subject to distortion and fear-mongering.
- Republicans feelentitled to allthey can garner An entitlement is a legal benefit available from the government to individuals who are within a defined category of recipients, such as needing insurance for unemployment or health services.
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Romney focuses on self; Obama emphasizes unity
Mitt Romney criticizes President Obama for saying a person's success is rooted in his community, and is not all his alone. Romney belittles this with his belief in individual initiative. He is better at the put-down than the push-up.
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Romney shows little regard for common man
The Republicans in Congress have voted over and over, 33 times, redundantly and uselessly, to rescind what they call Obamacare.
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Scouts' gay ban creates problem where none exists
The Boy Scouts of America's "emphatic reaffirmation" of its vow to exclude any and all homosexuals from its hallowed ranks is ill-considered and pathetic, especially in view of its having reviewed the matter for two years.
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Schreibman tops Chris Gibson on women's issues
