If there is one thing I
learned over the years, it is
not to take on a home-improvement
project with my spouse.
My husband, Kevin, and
I come from distinct backgrounds.
My schooling and expertise
is in finance, and Kevin
has worked in the construction
field for more than a decade.
I have found that the two
often conflict in the simplest of
projects.
Roughly 10 years ago,
when we were looking to buy
a house, all we could afford
was a fixer-upper, which I was
reluctant to take on.
Kevin convinced me by
saying age gave a house more
character and, with his background,
he could make our
purchase the quaint home I
envisioned. That has since
seemed an insurmountable
task for several reasons.
First, whether it was when
we were replacing our porch,
picking paint colors or deciding
if the replacement windows
should have grids in them, it
became apparent that coming
to a consensus was near impossible.
Our conversation usually
started out by Kevin asking
what I wanted, me explaining
what I had in mind, and then
him replying it can’t be done.
My frustration with each discussion
built and I just threw
up my hands and thought,
“Then why ask?”
Now, since The Daily Star
renovation project, I have
learned more about the construction
business than I wanted
to know. I can now have an
intelligent conversation (well,
at least in terminology) on
load-bearing walls, installing
tile and drain pitches.
Now I know Kevin was not
saying something can’t be done
because he may not want to do
the work. It just simply can’t
be done. In case he missed it,
I have now admitted he knows
more than me when it comes
to this topic, and I will accept
that going forward.
Yet, there is one arena
where I trump him, and that
is with money. Kevin hates
that I want an estimate before
we decide if we are going to
move ahead with a particular
project, but that is where my
diligence takes over.
His bone of contention is
that sometimes it isn’t that
easy. As anyone with an old
house knows, once you start
demolishing, you never know
what you are going to find behind
that lathe and plaster _
and nothing is level!
Depending on what you find,
your costs can skyrocket. Any
accountant will cringe when
his or her spouse takes off to
Munson’s or Stock Building
Supply to get more material or
opens the Lowe’s bill and sees
the budget blown out of the
water.
Estimating is an art, and
large variances never make
me smile, unless, of course, it
comes in under budget. Kevin
has learned to aim high and
reap the benefits when the
project comes in lower than
anticipated. I just have not
figured out how much cushion
he has been adding in!
Now we can venture down
the timeline and completion
path. I, of all people, know that
when you have a schedule that
consists of a full-time job, children,
meetings, etc., your time
is limited as to how much can
be dedicated to get a project
done.
The last thing I want to do
when I get home is pay bills, so
I can only assume most folks
don’t want to work all day in
their selected field and then
come home and do it for another
couple of hours.
That is why the old saying
that a mechanic’s spouse is the
last to get the car serviced also
applies to a contractor’s wife.
We have worked many late
nights that have ended in the
wee hours of the morning or
straight through a weekend to
finish a project that needed to
be done before a large event.
This sometimes resulted in being
at each other’s throats.
In a rush, the finishing
details, well, never seem to get
finished. So we, or I guess I,
made a new rule for the Shalor
family to live by: No new project
starts until the last one is
completed.
That means touch-up paint,
caulking, or the last piece of
trim needs to be done before
we move on. Kevin and I are
still coming to terms on that
one!
It is rewarding stepping
back and admiring the finished
project, but it’s not without its
struggles along the way.
Over the last five years, Kevin
and I have found that happy
medium in working together
on improvement projects in
our 100-plus-year-old home. I
think we have moved beyond
the screaming matches or the
throwing up of the arms and
storming out of a room muttering
“do it yourself, then” under
our breath.
How? Well, we have learned
two things. First, I put the suit
aside and throw on the old
sweats and stained T-shirt and
pitch in with manual labor. I’m
not sure how much of a help I
am, but it does make the project
go quicker and Kevin often
gets a few chuckles.
Second, and most important,
we work at the same time but
not on the same thing. In our
latest project, for example, he
put up trim while I grouted the
tile. We have found that harmony
that works for us. Now if
we can only apply that to the
household chores.
On the smoking front, nothing
has changed. I do have a
doctor’s appointment, at which
I will ask about Chantix. I need
that extra push to overcome
my addiction, and at $125 for a
month’s prescription, the commitment
is there. I just need to
school myself on the drug and
its side effects before making
the decision about whether it
is the right route for me.
I will keep you posted.
___
Tanya Shalor is publisher
of The Daily Star and may be
reached at (607) 432-1000, ext.
214, or tshalor@thedailystar.com.
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