Basketball was invented in Springfield, Mass., in 1891, and for most of its history, Spalding Inc., also of Springfield, produced the balls and equipment that go with the game.
Of course in this age of NAFTA (North American Free Trade Agreement) and SHAFTA (Spurious Hypocrisy of American Free Trade Agreements), I didn't expect the portable hoop I bought at Walmart to be made in America, even though it bore the name Spalding. No, I expected it came from China, where the owners of the business had built their factory to take advantage of cheap labor.
And I wasn't wrong.
I also thought that assembling this behemoth would be a trial, but it was worse; it was torture. With a crew of three, it still took a half-hour to run carriage bolts through four holes in the brackets that hold the rim.
"Give me the hammer," Uncle Chet muttered. "I'll see if I can tap the thing through, or we'll be here all day."
"The book says you're supposed to rock it," Hon said.
"I've been rocking it," he said.
"It says: `To ensure optimal playability of this backboard system, a close tolerance fit between the elevator components and hardware is required. Test fit large bolts into large holes of elevator tubes, backboard brackets and triangle plates. Carefully rock them in a circular motion to ream out any excess paint from holes if necessary."'
"Give me the hammer," Uncle Chet reached out impatiently.
I complied, and he tapped several times, each a little harder, until the bolt slipped through the hole, and we were able to attach a nut on the other side of the bracket.
"Now what?" I said.
"It says, `Insert bolt through left side upper elevator tube (35) then stretch spring (33) onto bolt (29) though right side upper elevator tube (35) and secure with nut (31)."'
"Let's have coffee before we even try to figure that one out," Uncle Chet said.
"Sounds good to me," I said.
"I made a big pot, so we have some left over from breakfast," Hon said and led us to the kitchen.
"Look at this sewing machine," Uncle Chet remarked, going into the living room. "They don't make 'em like that anymore."
"Singer, from the '70s, and you can read the instructions, too," Hon said. "The book is very clear."
"Back when America led the world in manufacturing and the instructions were written by Americans," I said.
"Of course I don't blame the Chinese workers," Uncle Chet allowed. "They were offered jobs and took them, same as we do when anyone dangles jobs at us. It's our captains of industry who sold us out, deserting their homeland, shifting all that capital out of the country."
"And the rich got richer," I said.
"The rich got richer, the workers got more desperate, and the immigrants and Muslims are being offered up as scapegoats," he said. "The Arizona law that makes it hazardous to look Hispanic, the birther crackpots, this created mosque controversy -- they're all part of the same propaganda campaign to keep us from focusing on real problems."
"I haven't followed the mosque stories," I said.
"They want to build a Muslim community center about two blocks from where the World Trade Center stood," he said.
"That's not so close," Hon said.
"And not that big, either," Uncle Chet said. "It's going to stand 13 stories tall, or 97 stories shorter than the towers."
"What's the big deal?" I asked.
"There is no big deal," he said. "It's like getting people riled up over gay marriage, even though it will have absolutely no effect on their lives. The mosque is a wedge issue, designed to distract us and disguise who's really swindling us in an age when we don't make their backboards and rims anymore, and even our balls come from China."
Cooperstown Bureau Reporter Tom Grace is traveling with his Uncle Chet, who he says is imaginary. Grace's column appears every other week. For more of his columns, visit www.thedailystar.com/tomgrace.
Columns
Related Photos
-
Tom Grace
Discussion
Welcome to our story comments feature. We welcome your thoughts and your opinions, including the unpopular ones. We only ask that you keep your conversations clean, civil and on the topic of the story you are commenting on.
Coinciding with our websites redesign, we launched our new story comments feature through Disqus.
Disqus gives users the ability to log into our story comments feature so that they may be able to track their conversations, receive emails when their comments get a reply or to even have your comments update onto your Facebook or Twitter accounts.
For the time being, our story comments feature will continue to have the ability to post comments anonymously. We reserve the right to require registration in the future using your name and verified email address.
Not all comments are deemed printable. Some are disqualified at the newspaper’s discretion for a number of different reasons. Please follow our Online Rules of Conduct at all times.
RULES OF CONDUCT:
We reserve the right to remove comments that are unacceptable, to wit:
1. False and inacurate statements.
2. Personal attacks. Explicit name-calling.
3. Harassing, harmful, vulgar, obscene and defamatory language.
4. Threatening statements or statements that suggest violence.
5. Hate speech of any kind.
6. Intolerant comments on religion, race, age, gender, sexual preference or disabilities.
7. Accusations of criminal activity.
8. Content that is harmful to children and minors in any way.
9. References to any type of sexual activity and other private matters.
10. Random and inflammatory statements that are off topic.
11. Advertising of any kind.
12. Typing in all caps.
WE ENCOURAGE REASONABLE AND COURTEOUS COMMENTS THAT:
1. Create conversation on issues of interest and concern to fellow readers and local community members.
2. Express opinions and contrarian views.
3. Stimulate debate with respectful language.
4. Stay within the boundaries of these rules.
WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO SUSPEND OR TERMINATE ACCESS FOR:
1. Violating any of these Online Rules of Conduct.
2. Deliberately disrupting discussions with repetitive messages, meaningless messages or spam.
3. Misrepresentation of identity or impersonating another user.
WE WELCOME:
1. Flagging violations of these rules that you observe to our attention.
MONITORING:
We monitor comments regularly Monday - Friday, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Approval of comments outside of this time (including weekends) will be sporadic.
Mosque issue was created to distract us
- Big Chuck D'Imperio
-
-
My pal Brucie, savior of Sidney's hospital
Ask any hospital administrators if they've ever heard of a closed hospital in New York state that has ever been re-opened. They will say, "Impossible." In a half century of going through records you can't find any.
Continued ... - Catching a whiff of 'Vermont Vapor'
- Selections from the virtual mailbag
- Recalling days of 'Doughnut King'
- Opera great's visit still a thrilling memory
-
My pal Brucie, savior of Sidney's hospital
- Cary Brunswick
-
-
We've become our own worst enemies
The past month has been marked by a seeming unprecedented number of man-made tragedies, as distinct from those caused by violent outbursts of the natural world, such as earthquakes, hurricanes and tsunamis.
Continued ... - Plenty of blame to go around for Bangladesh horror
- Obama is going against his word on Social Security
- Reflecting on a Florida trip
- Those magnificent spies in their flying machines
-
We've become our own worst enemies
- Chuck Pinkey
- Guest Column
-
-
Records seizure is an insult to free press
Distrust of government secrecy has been elevated to an exceptional level with the disclosure the Justice Department covertly examined two months of Associated Press phone records to determine who leaked details to the AP about a foiled terrorist plot.
Continued ... - The evangelical view of same-sex marriage
- Manor's fate will be Otsego board's legacy
- A closer look at our economy - Part II
- Use fracking to fill budget gaps
-
Records seizure is an insult to free press
- Lisa Miller
-
-
A view from above
Fire towers in the Catskill Mountains have always been destination points, built to capture some of the region’s best views. These sentinel stations served an important role for the earliest possible sightings of forest fires in the remote mountain ranges. But the fire towers and those who manned them fulfilled a multitude of other roles as well.
Continued ... - Being a parent is a constant learning process
- Healthy doesn't have to mean expensive
- A family era ends with close of Potter series
- Independent stores make up for loss of Borders
-
- Mark Simonson
-
-
Sunday movies in Oneonta finally shown in 1934
You know an issue is divisive when a vote to resolve it is quite close. In Oneonta during the early 1930s there were probably plenty of discussions or arguments at the family dinner table or sermons from the pulpits on Sunday mornings, regarding whether or should be able to see a movie in Oneonta on Sunday.
Continued ... - Politics, fitness and landmarks dominated local news in May 1968
- Local people sought income in many ways in 1933
- Local windstorm in 1983 caused tense moments
- Disaster, expansions put people to work in May 1913
-
- Rick Brockway
-
-
Kids have sparkle in their eyes
When I was in my teens, old Bill Naatz told me about a stream north of Lake George where a man had panned out enough gold to make his wife a wedding band. It was all rumors, but to his grandson and myself, it sounded like the makings of a great adventure.
- People make the outdoors even better
- Turkey season has ups and downs
- Spring air isn't always the freshest
- Adriondacks keep growing and growing
-
Kids have sparkle in their eyes
- Sam Pollak
-
-
Using time off in the worst way possible
"You don't mean it," I pleaded. "You simply can't mean it!"
Continued ... - Terror lives on, and there's no end in sight
- Remembering the glory of their times
- Column on guns led to a barrage of (mostly) jeers
- No one is coming to take your guns
-
Using time off in the worst way possible
- William Masters
-
-
Schreibman tops Chris Gibson on women's issues
As the time to vote draws near, we need to remember how money can run politics more than we can. Raising funds is a prominent (if not the dominant) task of getting elected. Raising issues is also crucial, but those efforts are subject to distortion and fear-mongering.
- Republicans feelentitled to allthey can garner An entitlement is a legal benefit available from the government to individuals who are within a defined category of recipients, such as needing insurance for unemployment or health services.
-
Romney focuses on self; Obama emphasizes unity
Mitt Romney criticizes President Obama for saying a person's success is rooted in his community, and is not all his alone. Romney belittles this with his belief in individual initiative. He is better at the put-down than the push-up.
-
Romney shows little regard for common man
The Republicans in Congress have voted over and over, 33 times, redundantly and uselessly, to rescind what they call Obamacare.
-
Scouts' gay ban creates problem where none exists
The Boy Scouts of America's "emphatic reaffirmation" of its vow to exclude any and all homosexuals from its hallowed ranks is ill-considered and pathetic, especially in view of its having reviewed the matter for two years.
-
Schreibman tops Chris Gibson on women's issues
